#might i just argue that jason got the best version of batman

[that1emowitch]

Batdad with his first 6 kids! (legal or otherwise)

Sorry for the bad quality it's a random sketch I made in German class loll

Might make one for the other kids/bats (duke, babs, carrie, terry, etc.) once i figure out what their dynamic should be

[creetchure]

In Attack of White Knight!Azrael

A few days ago, I reread curse of the white knight by sean murphy, and that comic has awakened feelings of rage within me that make me feel a little coocoo and has reminded me just how much I love Jean-Paul Valley/Azrael and the way both Denis O’Neil and Dan Watters have written him. The following is a vaguely structured version of the rant I gave my friend about it.

To me, one of the most important things O’Neil has done during his time writing Azrael/JPV was making them deeply, completely, human. During the original Azrael run, Knightfall, and then Azrael Agent of the Bat, JPV/Az have done bad things, sure, but they’ve never been treated as a full on villain, used only to move the plot of the heroes forward. We got to see exactly how and when they got to the point of being an antagonist, and at least from my point of view, it always was at least to some level sympathetic. JPV/Az are a RAMCOA system, and I personally headcanon that their psychosis is a PTSD symptom rather than a disorder on its own, as it only seems to appear after Azrael gets triggered and memories of becoming Azrael surface, bringing the buried trauma with it. It’s something that affects them clearly all through their appearances before their death, and now again in Waters’s writing of them. They have delusions, they’re paranoid, they hallucinate their father and a knight templar in the sky asking them to kill a man while they struggle not to, and they’re still not treated like a villain by the narrative. Like an antagonist, yes, but not a villain, as is recognized directly by the characters, both in Knightsend and afterwards. 

And then, there’s Sean Murphy. Sean Murphy did not bother reading Jean-Paul Valley/Azrael’s wiki page. Sean Murphy did not bother trying to know what JPV/Az’s character was even about. Instead, he built a one dimensional villain on the sole basis of “guy who believes he’s an angel, heavily religious”. Mind, that isn’t even an accurate way to describe Azrael at all. While O’Neil’s JPV/Azrael is a young man desperately trying to cope with trauma bad enough for him not to remember, and trying to keep the angel in his head in check so they pose neither a danger to themselves or anyone else, Murphy’s is a middle aged evangelist soldier with lung cancer. While O’Neil’s JPV is alone, has no support system to speak of to rely on, as his father is dead and he visibly has no friends, Murphy’s clearly has people around him in Michael and Gabriel, who, frankly, should have pulled him out of it. By all means, Murphy’s Azrael should be both medicated and in therapy for psychosis rather than enabled by his friends to believe himself an angel and wield a flaming sword. Where O’Neil’s Azrael still chose to do good even as it was a fight against themself, even as everyone told them to do otherwise, Murphy’s is, much like the rest of his book, edgy to be edgy. 

Now, O’Neil’s run is long, as has its ups and down, and I do understand that Murphy might not have had the time or want to read through it, though I’d argue Knightfall should be mandated reading for anyone looking to call back the Azbats suit. However, Murphy not reading comics has lead to many other egregious errors which could have been fixed with even the slightest bit of research. And I do mean a single Google search would have done the trick for some of them. It truly goes to show just how little Murphy actually cares about the source material aside from Snyder’s Batman movies when he allows for Jason to be the first Robin without thinking twice about it, or about how to fix it, or when he makes Renée Montoya out to be a character only to never even call her by her first name more than once, or when he makes Barbara an entirely out of character mess. 

O’Neil and Quesada have poured so much love into Azrael and it honestly makes me angry how little respect Murphy has for their work and their character. He is, to me, one of the best characters to come out of 90s comics, and Murphy could not be bothered to read a wiki article about him, or to spend an hour reading Batman Sword of Azrael – which would have been enough for a more solid grasp of the characters, and is truly only four issues long. To me, JPV/Azrael is one of the superheroes who goes through the most shit, on a personal level, and is the most human in his reactions, which is why seeing him turned into a caricature, if you could even call it that, is so shocking, as it’s incredibly easy to imagine his real reactions in the comic. He is not a villain. Many people like to bring up the panel of Robin where he chokes Tim Drake in the Batcave, but none of them seem to be willing to discuss what came before or after, the reason why any of it even happened at all. The truth is, JPV/Az banned Tim from the cave because they doubted their ability to protect a Robin as Batman, and Tim, as he kept on returning, eventually got to the Batcave and JPV/Az snapped and put the fear of them in him ; it was never meant as more than a scare, and is an action taken in a stressful moment for JPV. Though it doesn’t make it right, the context does make me sympathetic to the circumstances. At that point in time, JPV is trying to fit in Batman’s shoes while said man is away, fighting for control against Azrael, losing time when he loses that fight, feeling like he’s losing his mind as he starts to see his father and Saint Dumas, and trying to keep his head up while he’s swallowed by the mantle of Batman which Bruce knew full well would drown him. 

It’s a horrible time. Bruce admits it himself later on, it was something he knew could break JPV. Yet, through it all, JPV doesn’t kill. He lets a serial killer die, yes, but he only does so as he’s arguing with hallucinations of his father and Saint Dumas, both ordering him to kill. And even still, his only fault is in inaction, and not the murder he is later accused of. Through it all, JPV doesn’t give in. And in White Knight? In White Knight, JPV is a sad old man with cancer who’s being a little BITCH about it. 

O’Neil’s is a better character in the 4 issues of Batman: Sword of Azrael than Murphy’s in the 8 issues of Curse of the White Knight. 

[daedalusdavinci]

honestly im just gonna give u a list. anyways. bruce, harvey, eddie (easy mode), oliver queen (whore), equius, sollux, eridan (legally mantaded homestucks), tim drake because im here to cause u psyhic damage, damien (bby), and lets round it off with scarecrow cause why not. pick n choose the ones u want to do anyways -blasts u with my autism beams-

[I.D.: A man in bed, lifting his head off of the pillow with a confused, bleary look, squinting into the light being shined at him. /End I.D.]

jesus ok. this is obviously going to get really long so im sticking it all under a cut now

send me a character and i will tell you my...

Bruce

First impression

my first impression of bruce fucking wayne was actually probably when i was like four years old or something and watching btas so my batman, the batman that has always existed in my head, has been a man who genuinely cares about the people around him and believes everyone can get better. which is to say i probably got the best intro to batman you can get

Impression now

btas is still one of my favorite versions of batman there is but i also know now that there are many versions of batman depending on whos writing him and by god do some of those versions suck! but there are also nonbtas versions that are so great! like robin jason era batman. the most man of all time. or rob bat, or lego batman, or-

Favorite moment

btas bruce makes me fall to my knees and cry every goddamn time. his relationship w harley?? w harvey?? w freeze?? the way even joker trusts him to always be a good man and keep people safe, even when its him. every time bruce desperately reaches out to someone who is trying to hurt him, because he wants so badly to help them get better, know that i am sobbing.

Idea for a story

i dont really have bruce centric ideas because tbhhhh bruce has been so many different things over the years i just mold him to fit my needs for other stories. like i want to write bruharv fics or fics w eddie but harvey and eddie are what set the scene, not bruce, bc they have more firmly set personalities than him. late 80s bruce vs late 90s bruce are two completely different people, and btas bruce and rob bat bruce are like complete opposites to me in the way they wear the cowl. so yeah. the only time i might center something around bruce is if im writing a superbat story, bc i think clark is just as fluid at this point, but i dont really have as much interest in writing a superbat story!

Unpopular opinion

any opinion about batman is already tired, thats just the nature of batman. its too pervasive. someones already said anything i could say. but hey, people are ableist, so im sure this will be an unpopular one! bruce should have mobility aids. bane broke his back. you do not ever 100% come back from that. period, end of story, not arguing.

Favorite relationship

its gotta be bruharv. its gotta be. look obviously im a btas fan to my very bones and btas bruharv never stops breaking my goddamn heart. late 80s is just the same. i think ive said and written enough about them on this blog that no one needs to hear me say it again.

Favorite headcanon

bruce is autistic. you agree.

Harvey

First impression

first intro to harvey was during jasons robin era, so like, annual 14, #410 or whatever, you know what im talking about. hes just camp enough and he also gets frankly the most sympathy from the writers we really see him get outside of btas, imo. i was instantly sucked into the idea of this man who fought his way into the system because he wanted to change it, who believed in the law, but gradually became more and more disillusioned with it as he saw proof that a corrupt system would always be corrupt. morality, balance, and justice is the foundation harveys built his life on as an answer to the abuse he faced, and the way that all shatters for him is just. augh. add that to his beautifully complicated and desperate relationship with bruce and i just fell in love with him instantly

Impression now

hes like my favorite character outside of jason im fucking obsessed with him. i think im a little delusional about it but dc is so goddamn ableist with him i feel like i have to take some liberties, and he can be so INTERESTING if you just give him the room to be. also btas harvey is hot. im not taking any questions at this time.

Favorite moment

btas bruharv breaks! my! heart! that scene where bruce is desperately researching did and promises to a harvey that cant hear him that he will save him, somehow? i think about it every day. but also harvey had a lot of really good moments in tfz. i love to see a man in despair.

Idea for a story

ive had this idea in the back of my head since before i even started working on the jdau where harvey and 2f are trying to become better, sort of, or at least commit crimes in a way that they can feel better about. turning their attention back to mob bosses ala dark victory eventually drives them to team up with jason, who is post utrh and no contact with bruce and the batfamily, who harvey has no idea is even the same punk robin that once insulted his car. jason finds a father figure in harvey while harvey finds a new path to redemption (or antihero bullshit) through jason, and they both help each other sort out their messy ties to bruce. i dont know if ill ever get around to writing it- definitely not until ive gotten the jdau more or less out of my system- but i think about it sometimes.

Unpopular opinion

all of you fuckers need to go look up shit about did rn forreal im not joking. if you think 2f is an evil alter you are buying wholesale into the ableist shit dc is feeding you and its a problem. if you are going to write harvey and 2f, you need to accept that they both kill, that they both do crimes, that 2f is not the sole thing holding harvey back from “going good” again. find a different way to differentiate them. i see this in every goddamn corner of the fandom and it floors me how many of you are comfortable with perpetuating dcs ableism so long as its a “bad” disability like did.

Favorite relationship

its obviously bruharvey. (waves at my. entire blog really.) but i also really enjoy harvey and jason teamups, if that wasnt obvious. tfz changed my brain chemistry but i was like this even before that. i think they could find a lot of common ground in each other if i just ignore the part where 2f killed jasons dad lol

Favorite headcanon

i was just ranting about this the other day but i think the difference between harvey and 2f is that harvey tries very hard to repress things as the apparently normal part and wants very badly to believe in the legal system and that he could be a good person (pre acid, we see him kind of give up on that after the acid) whereas 2f embraces his anger and passion and has significantly less hope in the system and feels that he is inherently a bad person due to extremely low self esteem, because, yknow, hes the emotional part, hes the trauma holder. theyre both angry, they both commit crimes, harvey just has issues around letting himself experience negative emotions. this is pretty much the foundation for everything else i write because its how i work around the evil alter bullshit. they are both complicated (even more so than i can put concisely like this), it cannot just be 2f is bad and the source of all evil.

Edward

First impression

the first comic i ever read w eddie having any sort of significant part was hush and the joy of seeing that mystery come together and having eddie be the mastermind behind it all, as a huge mystery fan, was like nothing else. eddie was clever, irritating, and smug as all hell, with the goofiest goddamn schtick, and i just fell in love with him. the more i got to know him after that the more i loved him.

Impression now

eddie is one of the most camp rogues in the whole gallery. hes pathetic, whiny, attention-seeking, and hes also clever, annoying, and smug. i like that hes so often harmless but also has these little moments where he really does get batman on the ropes with just his brain. hes a little mastermind and i love that. hes a little creacher. hes hilarious. he has so much potential. he drives me crazy. im listening to batman unburied rn and hes so obnoxious i want to chew off my own leg. he remains one of my favorite batman characters of all time

Favorite moment

god theres this one origin story where hes reencounting his life and hes literally like rolling around on the floor whining about how lonely he is and how much he craves attention and its like. peak fucking eddie. hes so fucking annoying i love him i want to bully him

Idea for a story

ive already said im a mystery fan. when i was a kid, i read every single detective novel i could get my hands on, and its such a wonderful moment for me when batman can scratch that little itch in my brain. ive been rereading some of those old books lately and i really want to write a rddlebat fic in that style where bruce is a detective (but in a busybody way, and not in a police way), and riddler is the moriarty to his sherlock that keeps him running in circles. i can see the setting so clearly in my mind. ive just never written a mystery before and im struggling to think of one compelling and in character enough to drive the plot.

Unpopular opinion

i have learned that riddler fans deeply, deeply hate hush. the vitriol people have is incredible. its still one of my favorite riddler comics of all time, though, and i wonder if its because its written like a mystery instead of an action adventure. it leaves you with all of the clues, it builds, and in the end, the whole thing unfolds beautifully. its one of the best comics in terms of ones that show off what eddie can do and the extent of his intellect. its one of like four comics ive ever bought because i just adore it and apparently that is a VERY unpopular opinion lmfao

Favorite relationship

obviously rddlebat. obviously. i like them best when they have a sherlock and moriarty dynamic and are constantly challenging each other, pissing each other off, kiiind of flirting. theyre peak homoerotic rivalry to me. i dont like, mind stuff where theyre all cutesy and whatever, but its never been how ive seen them because im a homestuck and i know kismessitude is the way

Favorite headcanon

liam wrote a fic where eddie uses that cane because he actually needs it and he was so fucking right for that. i am 100% integrating that into my belief system

Oliver

First impression

sdkflsdjnfsdsdflsdf i HATE to admit this. but my first impression of oliver was in that comic where jason kidnaps mia and bruce snaps at ollie for his treatment of roy, and my second impression of him was rhato. so. needless to say, my first impression of ollie was Not Good. i thought he was just. the worst fucking dad ever, and a total piece of shit

Impression now

hes a communist king and he can GET IT. i have read way more green arrow comics since my first impression of him and i love him dearly. oliver fucks up again and again but he actually tries to do better. he learns and he grows and maybe he hasnt always been the best dad but hes doing pretty damn good now. he cares about and invests in his community on the local level and he puts his goddamn money where his mouth is every time. hes what a lot of people want bruce to be, tbh. i actually fucking adore oliver queen and i really want to read more green arrow comics

Favorite moment

green arrow/green lantern is such a fantastic goddamn run and i rotate it in my mind every day, specifically the part where they seem a skirmish between people and the police and hal immediately jumps in to help the police, but oliver stops him and starts breaking down the issues with that. like. fuck. do you know how fucking refreshing it is to see that in a comic. also when roy and oliver shoot cat man and then accuse the other one of missing i think about that all the time

Idea for a story

one day i am going to go as batshit about green lantern as i do about batman right now. that day hasnt come yet. but it will. and then there will be ideas.

Unpopular opinion

iii already said it tbh lmfao. green arrow is what people want batman to be. the family dynamics are way better and ollie invests in his community and tries to get better the way people want to believe bruce does (and lets be honest, how often does dc actually let bruce be the batman we know he can be and has been on occasion?)

Favorite relationship

ill be the first to admit im really fucking biased after reading ga/gl but ollie/hal/dinah. because yeah. what was all that.

Favorite headcanon

i think about grandpa ollie all the time. aaaaall the time. i think about him investing all the time in lian he never did in roy and i think about the apology written into it that he probably does say outloud, because hes not goddamn batman and he tries.

Tim (i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you)

First impression

the first tim comics i ever read were. the first tim comics ever. he was in full hero worship mode and his hair looked dumb as hell and he was a cute kid. his audacity was fucking stunning, but i was willing to forgive him for it

Impression now

wheres that fucking tumblr post thats like peoples reactions to shows before and after a plottwist where someones like “why does everybody hate this guy” and then “I Know Now.” thats how i feel about tim. the audacity did not ever stop. he carries it with him forever. he is sexist as fuck and the way he treats stephanie makes my blood boil, and he is one of the number one offenders in terms of rewriting the narrative around jason. a lot of this is the fault of the writers and not him (PARTICULARLY THE WAY BRUCE TREATS HIM COMPARED TO OTHERS AND THE SHIT HE GETS AWAY WITH), but the whole thing leaves such a bad taste in my mouth i just cant stomach tim anymore. add that to how goddamn annoying tim fans are and how confidently they mischaracterize tim and every other fucking character? i can easily say tim is my least favorite member of the batfam.

Favorite moment

i think about this dumbass panel every goddamn day.

[I.D.: A comic panel of Tim Drake where he is standing outside, partially shaded by a tree. He is wearing an oversized red sweater that says “zoo of wires” in all caps and yellow pants. He’s squinting strangely and there’s a scuff mark on his cheek. His hair is the older style of Tim hair that stands completely on end and makes him look like a clown. Overall, it’s a pretty awful picture of Tim. /End I.D.]

but genuinely any moment between tim and kon or the rest of the young justice team, i think, are his best moments.

Idea for a story

any time i feel like tim could have room in a story im writing i am simply going to replace him with duke <3

Unpopular opinion

everything ive said so far has been an unpopular opinion and im not convinced i wont be drawn and quartered for posting this. but frankly if you made it this far into this post im kind of assuming youre a friend of mine who already knows i dont like tim bc this is really long. anyway heres another one <3 tims parents were never abusive you guys just dont want to admit tim is only interesting if you give him jason or stephs backstory

Favorite relationship

its gotta be tim and kon. gotta be. they are cute. i get it. the way tim just lights up in his robin run (or was it red robin?) when kon comes to visit is. yeah.

Favorite headcanon

i love it when tim quits being robin or is never robin at all. i am a hater.

Damian

First impression

i think the first damian comic i ever read was bftc and batman and robin 2009 and the MOMENT i saw his little face. his little cheeks. oh my god. hes SO. BABY. and hes a slightly MURDEROUS baby??? even better. i saw damian and i knew he was gonna be one of my faves he was just too precious, too perfect

Impression now

hes the babiest boy of all time and i love him more than i can even put into words. i adore him. i need to read more of his comics but i have read Enough to know that i love him. i want to pick him up and swing him around like a cat. bolito de odio mi queridooooo <3333

Favorite moment

i hold the fact that he named the cat alfred very close to my heart. also when he whooped tim and jasons asses but dick stopped him and validated him before he could (crying)

Idea for a story

eventually i wanna write more stuff w him in the jdau but i dont have it all set in stone just yet

Unpopular opinion

everyone hates aro hcs but youll pry aro dami out of my cold dead hands

Favorite relationship

dick and dami (PLATONIC. OBVIOUSLY!!) is such a basic answer but it is my true answer. im not joking when i say it literally makes me cry. i just!!!! have a LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT IT. im not going to get into it all but augh. jon and dami is probably second tho their friendship is so fun and ill never forgive dc for what they did to it. also prefer them platonic

Favorite headcanon

i cant even call damian being autistic a headcanon. its just real.

Jon

First impression

jesus christ. sdlkfjnsdfsf scarecrow is a cool tool to make things happen in comics he makes for a very good villain but i have never been very impressed by his actual personality i find him very very very creepy and i do not trust him around children i think hes a little freak

Impression now

exactly the same. i dont get how big into him some people get and moth i think you are fully delusional

Favorite moment

this is the one exception alright. as the crow flies is my favorite scarecrow comic of all time its really intriguing and he is very creacher. the power dynamic is really such that you have to pity jon, he loses so much control over the situation and he doesnt even understand whats happened to him, and the one person he confides in betrays him. the scarebeast itself is, i think, one of the best batman monsters if not The best batman monster the design is so goddamn cool and jons design, too, is just absolutely great in this comic. its such a goddamn good comic i love it

Idea for a story

lmao im never gonna write a story about this bitch

Unpopular opinion

i dont like him. thats my unpopular opinion. and i dont get “the dork squad”

Favorite relationship

again, the dynamics in as the crow flies were really interesting. otherwise idgas

Favorite headcanon

if i ever wasted the brainspace to think about scarecrow hcs they would be exclusively in reference to scarebeast. but i dont.

aughughugh homestuck time

Equius

First impression

haha gross! this guy is fucking weird

Impression now

funniest fucker there is. nothing about equius isnt hilarious. i love him. hes the definition of beta cuck and thats hysterical. hes weird and gross and kind of creepy and also slightly charming in a bizarre way and i love him

Favorite moment

i dont know now its been a while since i went through his pesterlogs but he does have some prettyf ucking funny lines. in general tho nothing can top arquius. hilarious

Idea for a story

ill probably write another h@lquius fic one day. hold me accountable was some of the most fun ive ever had writing a fic

Unpopular opinion

that i like him at all tbh lmao

Favorite relationship

OBVIOUSLY its equius and hal. obviously. they bounce off of each other in the worst possible ways theyre so gross and funny. arquius is one of the funniest things to ever come out of homestuck. dirk and equius is probably right after that.

Favorite headcanon

i like my space au a lot idk

Sollux

First impression

i thought sollux was the best goddamn thing since vriska. he was snarky in a way that vibed just right with me, his humor cutting and self deprecating and just perfect. i loved his relationship w aradia, i thought they were so sweet, and he also just reminded me a lot of dave who was my favorite character period. he and karkat were also really funny. i think i also just related to him a lot, at the time

Impression now

sollux is a lot of fun as a character because hes so dry and flippant about everything. hes a genuine true neutral character who most of the time cant find it in himself to give a shit about anything, and you have to admire that. hes laid back, except for when hes not, and his interpersonal relationships are generally snarky and ribbing with an undercurrent of very genuine care and affection. he was one of my favorite trolls for a very long time and i love him a lot.

Favorite moment

when hes just lost his lisp and is kind of obsessing over it is a pretty good one. but his conversations with karkat in the very beginning are also pretty good. everythign between him and aradia too. idk, its been a while.

Idea for a story

some day im probably gonna end up writing an ersol story, but from time to time i also think about writing that pale davsol fic for the guardians au ive had in the back of my mind forever

Unpopular opinion

feferi did not treat sollux especially well and did not respect his boundaries at all. their relationship sucked

Favorite relationship

rn its probably post sprite eridan and sollux, but ive always had a soft spot for some kind of friendship between dave and sollux, and sollux and aradia is a classic for a reason

Favorite headcanon

bigender sollux ftw. see also: sex neutral asexual sollux

Eridan

First impression

he is so whiny and obnoxious but also so brilliantly crafted and he has so much depth to him for a character that stops mattering like ten pages in time to latch onto him and never be normal about it again

Impression now

and then i wasnt! i dont think much has changed about my opinion on eridan at all actually

Favorite moment

his conversations with karkat oh my goddd theyre such gossips. also im sorry but youve gotta love his stupid little anxious talksprite hes such a prick. AUGH. AND THE DRESSES IN PESTERQUEST HANG ON

Idea for a story

see the above ersol musings but also and more importantly im going to write another erdave story. i dont know what its gonna be about but im sure in a few months eri will break down my door and say something to me about them and within a week ill have churned out another goddamn fic

Unpopular opinion

this has always been an unpopular opinion but if you think eridan deserved better but you think vriska is an irredeemable piece of shit you are in fact sexist <3

Favorite relationship

its very obviously eridan and dave. obviously. ive been writing this shit out for so long im tired now and im nto going to get into all of it but just know that i know everything about them and i know exactly why they work and im right about it. but i also believe very strongly in eridan and karkat and their whole relationship with karkat being like. honestly the only person who continued to believe in eridan and cared about him when he was really going off the deep end and their friendship actually being very genuine and sweet and the like potential there. but ALSO. vriska and eridan is one of the best friendships in the messiest way they were actually like the best and strongest kismessitude in homestuck and ill never let anyone forget it i LOVE them i love them being exes that know too much about each other and use it for evil even tho theyve stayed friends after all this time

Favorite headcanon

eridan being genderfluid is BASICALLY canon so i wont even call that a headcanon bc its just true. i feel very strongly about eridan having a very unhealthy relationship to sex and relationships where he ties his worth to them regardless of whether or not he actually wants them. he IS ace and he is DEEPLY repressed about it, thanks

[eyrieofsynapses]

First Thoughts on YJ S4 Panel

WARNING: SPOILERS for the DC Fandome YJ S4 panel!

Okay, before I start chattering away, can I just saw how much I love this title poster? Because I love it. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT HOW BADASS IT IS. 

Warning: this first bit is a teeny bit ranty, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t genuinely love the panel. It was really fun, but I have a few gripes with the amount of information we got. If you wanna cut straight to the cheery bits, check under the cut.

So... uh. I’m not gonna say I’m disappointed? Because I’m not, this was good, we got info, it was nice to see the voice actors. But I’m... underwhelmed. I definitely wasn’t expecting a lot but this was still, mm, not as much as I thought we’d get. No poster, no previews of character designs, not a peep as to when we’re getting the new season, nothing on where it’ll be streaming, nothing as to new characters, nothing as to who’s going to be the villain, and the Q&A session was maaaayyybe 3 minutes long. Oof, guys. Thought you said you’d leave us with something that’d leave us “more than just ‘whelmed.’” 

Essentially all we got was the title, and a few snippets of information regarding what the current status of the Team and its characters is. They didn’t really get the chance to talk to us at all about the actual season, either- I think Brandon spoke maaaybe three or four times? He got the title reveal, but, well, we knew that already, not that it’s their fault, but still. I love hearing the voice actors chat about their experiences and we got none of that, so that was disappointing. I’m wondering if there wasn’t some material cut, actually, because I distinctly recall seeing a clip on Twitter with Phil Lamarr talking about what it was like returning to the show, and it wasn’t in this. So what’s the deal, DC? Short-changing us on YJ again? When are we gonna get some actual news? 

There is the little problem that their big reveal of the title was spoiled, oh, maybe three or four months ago, and that isn’t their fault, but it does make that revelation more of an “okay, well, glad that’s confirmed” rather than an “OH MY GODS IT’S PHANTOMS WHAAAAAAAT” like I think they were hoping. Still, that’s definitely exciting to hear, and the new title poster looks cool. 

I got a “WHAT!!!” moment maaayybe three times, which is significantly less than I thought I would. There just wasn’t that much new info. But I think that’s less of a Grandon/production team problem and more of a world state and DC problem. I’m not annoyed at them, I’m annoyed at DC and at the pandemic, because I’m willing to bet their snippet was cut short by DC and what information they could’ve revealed just isn’t ready yet because of current events. Probably we would’ve gotten character designs if it weren’t for that.

As for the audio play, it was pretty good. They were definitely struggling what with having a distinct lack of people to pull from for a voice cast, but made some tongue-in-cheek references to it to take off the edge. I don’t think I realized just how many people voice for YJ until now... or how many characters each actor does. It’s a bit janky, and weird what with the arguing over who’s narrating the story (why, are they telling us the story, or are they telling it to someone else? Are you breaking the fourth wall, are you not? Make yourselves clear) but I’m blaming that on the fact that they’re more used to scripts than they are audio plays. These are different mediums, so there’s an inherent gap there; this probably would’ve gone better as an actual episode. 

So, FIRST watch-through, here’s my HAPPY cheery thoughts and reactions, in no particular order! I might do a second one later, we’ll see. (Under the cut, because it’s long.)

Return of Bowhunter Security! 

Clipboard makes a comeback!

The Supermartian marriage has taken place and they’re making reference to taking a long journey with Conner, M’gann, Bioship, Gar and J’onn. So... Mars? Do we finally get to see Mars?  

Forager gets to be sassy! And a hilarious narrator! Which, c’mon, it’s Jason Spisak, honestly, I don’t know what I expected.

Ahahah, Jason makes the most delightful faces when he’s voicing Forager. (And a few flubs, but he’s good at covering them.) We all miss Wally, but man, he does a good job with this character. Also, hey, that’s how he does the clicks!

Rocket! Even though she had a relatively minimal presence, sigh. I’m hoping they build her character more this time, she always get short-changed. 

ARTEMIS IS LEADING THE TEAM, repeat, ARTEMIS IS LEADING THE TEAM!!! YES!!! 

And she also makes a reference at some point to being in this fight for ten years, which, HMM, do I hear a reference point for our time jump? They started back in 2010, so this implies that the season’s caught up to 2020. So... season one was 2010, season two was 2016, season three was... 2018, I think? So does this make the next time jump two years too, or am I off? It also takes place on February 23rd. Eh, either way, it’s absolutely not as long as a lot of people were fearing- heck, I’m thinking this might be the shortest jump yet. Yay!

I’m not sure if the Snapper Carr dialogue is cringy or hilarious. I’m going with hilarious because I’m betting this would’ve been great if it were animated. It definitely loses something without the animation. 

Is... is Crispin Freeman playing four characters? Five? Will, Roy, Jim, Captain Boomerang... I think I’m missing someone, I’m gonna have to go back and rewatch this later, but wow. He switches between them so fluidly, too, that’s impressive.

Forget Freeman for a hot second, Nolan North, what are you doing, dude? Conner, Clayface, Mallah, at least one or two others, with a LOT of animal noises included... wow, okay. I definitely didn’t realize how many of these guys do two or three characters. 

Phil Lamarr doing Brick, Black Manta and Kaldur all at once is definitely impressive. I’m gonna take a guess and say he likes doing Brick best. He seems to get a little grin sometimes when he’s playing the character.

Ahhh, Danica McKellar definitely likes playing Terrence Terror. Don’t ask me why, I’m just getting that feeling watching her. Villains are fun to play.

...Wolf? Where’s Wolf? Uhh, guys? Where’s our fluffy doggo? Don’t tell anyone but I’m scared. 

Oooookay, that was unexpectedly gruesome. Dehydrating a man into sand? I mean, okay, it’s Clayface, but we didn’t know that till later. Eeeewww. Y’all, ik you’re going more dark, but that wasn’t an image anyone needed.

Jokes about Dadbod!Will are... hhh, cringy or funny, cringy or funny... I’m going sorta funny for now. Not enough to make me laugh, but enough to make me smile. 

Okay, Will’s definitely still hilarious. Literally that entire scenario with Captain Boomerang was amazing, and only made better by the fact that it was entirely Crispin Freeman. The “are you the Green Arrow fanclub president or something?” “...you have no idea” moment, the “boomerangs are better and Batman said so!” “...okay, FINE,” FLINGING CLIPBOARD, Boomerang teasing Will for his dadbod and Will answering with a wicked uppercut... ah, man. This is 100% Roy/Will Harper and I am here for it. 

I can see some people disliking this humor, but personally, I’m gonna just sit back and enjoy it. YJ has some quirky humor, but honestly, if you’re part of the fandom and you don’t like it, why are you even here?

Huh, Raquel’s a vegan and nobody’s making jokes about vegan burgers? Nice!

Oh, my gods, Forager deciding that Lian and Amistad playing with the food is an educational activity is AMAZING, 100% in character, and something I really, really want to see. 

(Fanartists? Fanartists, pleeeeaaasse?)

Will and Artemis ribbing each other will never get old.

...wait. Hang on. Is Will the comedic relief character now along with Forager? Is this a thing? I guess it is. If you’d asked me who out of the original Team would replace Wally as the comedic relief back when I had finished the second season, I would not have thought of him first, but I think I’m good with this. It’s definitely in character to his comic version. 

Ahh, Conner and M’gann’s relationship is still... interesting. Still not sure how to feel on this one. But hey, they’re married (?) now? Uh... nice? 

Nightwing’s off on some mysterious mission, hmm? I’m assuming that’s because of Jesse McCartney not being there, but I think I’m gonna headcanon that there are Other reasons for this. 

Yay, Clayface getting redemption! I love this in the Rebirth Batman: Detective Comics, so I’m 100% down for seeing it here. 

Tim did that for Clayface! Sweet! Not a plot thread I expected to go anywhere from that one season three episode, but one I am very happy to see used. 

...more secrets. Uhh, M’gann keeping secrets from Conner is... icky... again... but granted, keeping them because of confidentiality agreements is, well, a better excuse than she’s had in the past. Still, this is getting old.

Huh, so Waller will let out the Team’s secrets if they tell anyone about Belle Reve. I think this was already covered in the third season, but maybe not so explicitly. The reactions... hmm. Of course Conner’s okay with letting out all their secrets (and M’gann’s willing to... go along with that? ...okay...?), but the others, maybe not so much? Hmm. I wonder what Dick would have to say about that one. He definitely has something to lose. Not sure about Kaldur or Artemis, though. 

Jason did NOT get to make any Wally references. That makes me even sadder than if he did make one that made all of us cry. C’mon, guys. Let him have his references. 

I’m always a little meh on M’gann, but hey, M’gann gets to be a 100% certified badass! Saving Clayface AND taking down a ton of baddies with telekinesis, yay!

Oh, my gods. LOOPHOLES. WHAT IS WITH THIS TEAM AND LOOPHOLES. I love them so much.

The Team signing on as Bowhunter Security- oh my gods, all of the Team in fucking Bowhunter Security uniforms- oh my gods, so very in-character, so very true to YJ, so absolutely goddamn hilarious, I wanna hug whoever came up with that. That is the BEST mental image and it is a CRIME that they didn’t animate that. 

And, of course, Kaldur just immediately goes along with it. The Team’s corrupted him fully now. I mean, we knew that, but he’s done now. 

Black Manta attempting to roast Kaldur for his security uniform and Kaldur roasting him back 100 times worse is wonderful. “I wear my dignity on the inside, Father. Where do you wear yours?” KALLIE I LOVE YOU 

Ooooo, Artemis is inviting Roy to the Team? This should be interesting. He’s definitely not totally stable, but it seems to me that Artemis should be able to more or less keep him in check. Hopefully. She had to deal with Wally for five years, surely she can keep Roy in check?

...hmm. We’re all thinking there’s gonna be a Red Hood arc... Roy’s joining the team... Roy and Jason did have that run as the Outlaws in the comics with Kory... and this version of Roy has the sort of temper and attitude that I can just see Jason possibly getting along well with... hmmmmmmmm... 

Hah, villain shenanigans. Having Task Force X argue all the time is in character and admittedly sort of funny, especially as Black Manta’s sort of pulling a Kaldur and playing the absolutely exasperated denmother. I dislike BM thanks to him being a Baddie and all, but watching (listening to?) him struggle to contain them is enjoyable if only because I like watching him suffer. 

Ahh, watching the VAs is fun. It’s definitely nice to see that little view behind the camera. There’s the little smiles, the tiny grimaces at the icky bits, the responses to various bits, the way their demeanor changes with each character, everyone egging Nolan on when he’s yelling for Clayface being disintegrated... I’m sad we didn’t get to see them chat, but watching them interact while they work is fun. Pity Jason and Stephanie didn’t really have any interactions, though, I bet watching them work together would’ve been fun. Ah well. Still fun overall.

There’s a lot of variation in where they are/what setups they have. Some of them seem to have proper studios, some of them don’t but they have mics, Danica’s on the lower bunk of her son’s room with what I’m betting are several sheets hung behind her, and then... well, then there’s poor Stephanie with earbuds and what I’m betting is her phone at her friend’s house XD Also, Greg’s library is really awesome, can I steal it please?

Green title card... I know people have been positing this for a while, but Lazarus Pit? Also, the thing people haven’t talked about: Mars?! Is this a nod to the Martians, since M’gann, Conner, Gar and J’onn seem to be going there? 

Lots of speculation regarding Phantoms, but that’s been going around for a while, so *shrug* I’m not gonna spend any time on that for now.

Someone’s gonna have to write this out, methinks, for further examination. We’ll see if I get around to doing that or not before Fandome ends. I’m betting someone will record it and post it on YouTube, but a written-out version of the script would be useful. If I do, I’ll probably post it, so keep an eye out. 

So... season 3.9, episode 1? Hmm. Does this come directly prior to the fourth season? I kinda wanna say it does.

I have more thoughts, but I think I need to do a rewatch first, maybe in a little bit. Anyway... not what I was expecting, I sincerely miss Dick and Wally, but lots of funny jokes all the same, and lots of interesting information on the fourth season even if it’s nowhere near the amount we wanted. I might be underwhelmed but I’m certainly not disappointed. 

[adamwatchesmovies]

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021)

No movie has ever been quite like Zack Snyder’s Justice League. After all the hubbub, I think everyone's curious to see the end results. Have the petitions, billboards, and millions of hashtags been worth it?

Following the death of Superman (Henry Cavill), a series of ominous dreams warn Batman (Ben Affleck) of an ancient evil's return. Bringing together Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot), The Flash (Ezra Miller), Aquaman (Jason Momoa), and Cyborg (Ray Fisher), might be enough to stop world-conqueror Steppenwolf (Ciarán Hinds) and his army of Parademons before he can assemble the three matter-altering Mother Boxes hidden on Earth and use them to reshape the world.

If you’ve seen 2017’s Justice League, you’ve mostly seen this movie... but not really. Obviously, the running time is much longer, which means everyone gets more opportunities to show off their abilities and develop their characters. The big winners are The Flash and Cyborg, who kind of become the hearts of this adventure. The Flash plays a huge part in the finale. Now enormously endearing, you can't wait to see more of him. With Victor Stone/Cyborg’s father, Silas Stone (Joe Morton) we get a much more emotional story than before. Surprisingly, Steppenwolf also gets a lot more material. Rather than a generic gray CGI monster, he’s a gray CGI monster with just enough dimension to make you wonder how you feel about him. Though he remains a force of destruction, his backstory is expanded upon greatly. He’s been sent on a mission by the lord of Apokolips, Darkseid (voiced by Ray Porter) following a failed coup. If he cowers in front of Darkseid’s enforcer DeSaad (Peter Guinness) and barely dares utter his lord's name, how big a threat are the heroes actually facing?!

Also different is the overall tone. Whether you care for Zack Snyder as a director or not, he has a distinct, recognizable style and that’s always preferable to a gooey mush no one has put any kind of mark upon. The score is consistent with the previous Man of Steel and BvS films, the humor is significantly downplayed, and the violence (you might call it edginess) is dialed up. There’s also a lot more slow-motion. With the seven narrative acts, this feels so much like a living comic book that all you can think about are double-page spreads. It’s still moving, but you have the time to drink in all of the details.

The fights feel epic - even though you already “know” how things will end. The fallout of Superman’s death is handled so much better you’ll never look back at the way it was previously handled (actually, I kind of like what they do here more than in the original comic it takes its inspiration from). All of the actors get to reprise/expand upon their roles, the best bits you saw before remain but the plot is clearer, more satisfying. If you helped convince Warner Bros. to make this happen, you’ll be over the moon.

This is a better movie than the one we saw before but it isn’t the best movie it could be. The running time must be criticized. For the most part, you don’t really feel it, particularly not at home. You will grow restless during the Epilogue, however. This segment feels self-indulgent. We're not talking a quick tease of more to come (even if this movie doesn’t get a sequel, you just assume the adventures will continue). We get at least 20+ minutes of new characters and plots. Be grateful for what you got, Mr. Snyder, show some restraint.

My final criticism concerns the screenplay. It’s terrific that this movie is better than the two-hour version in every way (including the special effects) but I'd argue almost every movie could be made “better” if it were longer. Anyone can write a novel that spans 10,000 pages or shoot a 7+ season TV show with fully-rendered characters. What’s impressive is delivering all that in a fraction of the time. Zack Snyder’s Justice League does not successfully do everything it wants as efficiently as it should.

I never expected Zack Snyder’s Justice League to happen. Now, here we are, and I’m grateful. This is a fun movie, even when it does teeter towards becoming an edgelord’s idea of what a superhero adventure should be like. It’s better paced, edited, scored, and realized. Its epilogue is a bit much, however. I say cut the movie off after the scene with Deathstroke and you have a better end product. It may be self-indulgent towards the end, but this new Justice League is what we hoped for. (March 28, 2021)

[hohoz]

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO GET THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK RIGHT !

Hello, so we have some news about the Justice League and Snyder

Snyder’s cut is going to be released in 2021 by HBO MAX, and I have to say congratz to all of you who insisted and believed that this movie would be released, signed petitions and things like that.

But I have to talk to you about my opinion, because I LOVE DC SO FREAKING MUCH, and it hurts when someone says that Marvel is the best and DC is boring, and because of that, I think we all have to understand WHY that happens.

And it’s quite simple

We don’t get the man behind the mask right...

I loved Snyder’s dark style,everything that he did in those movies and how he showed some Epicurean paradox moments , but the versions that he choose to introduce to the normies wasn’t good at all;

Let’s talk about BATMAN FIRST

We can all agree that Snyder used Frank Miller’s Dark Knight as inspiration for the whole movie , but that was completely bad, and I’m sorry to say that, even tho I loved this comic and loved Batman vs Superman, that was really a bad comic to introduce the characters to the normies.

And I want to explain why,

Most people don’t read comics, so If you show in a movie a Batman who kills, people will think that’s what he does, if you show a Batman who marks people so they get killed in jail, people will think “Oh he’s kind evil”.

We all know that Miller’s Batman was someone who retired, okay ? He was tired and depressed and a lot of things that made him a darker person,(it’s kind like a What if story) BUT he is not LIKE THIS.

Let’s use an movie animation as an example to prove a point

The son of batman

Damian Wayne is Bruce son and he was raised by the league of assassins, and he kills like it’s fucking nothing, he is a murder machine, trained in all aspects and weapons,

And Bruce it’s not okay with this, so this whole movie is about Damian seeking revenge and Batman trying to make him understand that you have to seek JUSTICE NOT REVENGE

In this part they argue, Damian is saying that he’s way is EASIER and Batman explains something essential for the WHOLE BATMAN CHARACTER, this is something YOU HAVE TO GET IT RIGHT IF YOU’RE GOING TO WRITE A BATMAN MOVIE. 

And this movie IS SO GOOD guys, Damian is my fav character, but the point is, this moral code is something that is always with Batman, this is a part of his character, this is something that Snyder ignored completely.

BTW, Damian always struggle with this, but he follows his dad code.

And this is something that even Nolan brought to his Batman, because this is a part of Batman.

Okay, so enough about this killing batman, let’s go to the main point of this post, when you’re going to write a hero, you have to understand the men behind that hero, and I’m not saying about the moment that his parents were killed in an alley, I’m talking about who Bruce is as a person.

And I know that you guys will say that he lost Jason in Snyder’s universe, but that also happened in the comics and Bruce is not a serial killer !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now let’s talk about Superman

And this is the hardest part to write, because I feel so sorry for Henry, you can see that he loves this character so much, and it’s really sad that Superman its not Superman.

I never saw a movie that actually got Superman right, Christopher’s Supes was the one who got closest to the real one, but they all suffer from the same problems:

Lois lane and Smallville.

First: Lois

SUPERMAN IS SO MUCH MORE THAN WRITING A ROMANCE WITH DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

I HAD TO SAY IT.

Come on, he is a HERO, a symbol oh HOPE.

Look at this

Or when he is saving the world in secret, in this comic, is after New 52, so he just had Jon, and both him a Lois wanted to protect their son, and a lot of stuff happened, but there is one thing, even tho he couldn't appear in media, he still wanted to do EVERYTHING HE COULD TO SAVE THE WORLD.

If you read this comic “Superman: Lois and Clark” you’ll see a different version of superman, a human side you know, before superman he was Smallville, and there is a reason for that.

In this comic we can see that, it’s almost Xmas, and he dint get Jon a present, so he tries really really hard to get a Monk-E monsters for his son, even tho he had to save the world 500x that day.

And even if it was easier to try to buy a toy as Superman, he goes as Clark in every store !

So the Wayne’s went to Clark’s house to spend xmas there (LOOK AT HIS SWEATER) 

You know, I could post here a hundred screenshots of a lot small moments that show, who Clark is, he is a man that was born in the middle of nowhere, raised by a good family, he’s naive sometimes and he’s kind, he’s not broody

Every time that we see him in a scene, he looks like he’s mad, angry, I do know, but he doesn't look happy. WTF

I know some of you might not agree with me, I loved BvS and I hated JL, but even tho I loved BvS, it’s was a bad choice to portrait the characters that way.

If you search for news at the day where superman was killed you’ll see that this was covered by a lot of programs (not just in USA) like it was something out of this world, like he was a real person, and that happened because his character was so good, a genuine hero... I wanted to see that hero on the movies...

[m00nslippers]

Ranting about Event Leviathan Issue #3, I guess

I started just writing a tiny thing and then it got super ranty so I was like...okay fine I guess this is kind of a half-assed mini review.

I thought the Event Leviathan #3 was very poorly written and was pretty much everything I dislike about Bendis’s writing turned up to eleven. His dialogue is so choppy and quippy that I can barely tell what is going on half the time and almost everyone looks and acts like an idiot--even Batman who people like to make look like a genius all the time! The only person with any competence was Lois and she’s single-handedly dragging this plot along while Damian makes wild accusations that for some reason people are listening to, while Bruce literally just stands around nodding at everything Damian says. Bruce seems really out of character though since he’s like...actually listening to other people but also being really passive throughout this whole situation and not suggesting any courses for action, he’s just there for some reason.

Like, literally what even is this dialogue? People are just making quips, finishing each others phrases and interrupting each other in a way that is chaotic and confusing and useless while Lois info dumps. Plastic Man feels off to me (also like, since when is he a great detective? I’m not super familiar with him but I don’t think detectiving is something he’s known for). I don’t know the female hero brought in, but she doesn’t have much presence so I can’t tell what her personality is supposed to be. Ollie seems in character at least, and Damian too, even if I’m not fond of this version of Damian we have these days. 

For me, literally the only good thing about this issue is Jason being awesome, like straight up countering a bunch of ‘master detective’ super heroes with minimal effort and no preparation and getting away easily. Like this just gave Jason some amazing feats. I mean, I’m not a fan of Bendis's work or style, but at least he’s doing right by my boy, I guess. I’ll give him that.

YOU SAID THIS DAMIAN, YOU CAN’T EVER TAKE IT BACK NOW. I WON’T LET YOU FORGET.

Not to let the artist off the hook, though. As much as I love the artists’ drawing style, I think their action was incredibly poor and confusing and I think the artists blocking kind of actively added to my confusion of who was talking, and exacerbated the choppiness of the dialogue a lot of the time. I could do a whole review that pointed this stuff out explicitly but I’m lazy and don’t want to. But so much of the fight scene with Jay just made me go ‘huh? Wait, what?’ because I couldn't figure out the sequence of events or place them in space. This whole fight scene is just a mess, IMO. Not a single panel actually looks visually cool or interesting. Like I want to say “Oh man this is so cool, Jason is kicking everyone’s ass, I love it!” but I can’t even say that because that’s not even what it looks like. It seems more everyone is just tumbling through the air and kicking around without any skill or strategy. Everyone just looks stupid here.

Back to the question of who is Leviathan though...nothing in this issue discredits the idea that I am leaning towards, which is that Roy, or possibly an AI created by Roy before his death, is Leviathan. Also I think the general demeanor of Levi kind of supports it, or at least doesn’t rule him out. He’s not super solemn, he’s actually fairly quippy, like you might expect Roy or at least someone younger to be (or maybe that’s just BMB making people who aren’t supposed ot be quippy quippy, I dunno, it’s possible). Also obviously he’s very techy, like Roy is known for.

Also, Jason and Lois, kind of, think he’s being set up, that the plan is being made to look like something Jason would do (which...the stuff Leviathan is doing is not, this is all out of character for Jason, this is in no way in line with his MO, but the basis of this comic is that it IS so fine, for the sake of the story we have to go along with that) because Levi wants to throw the detectives off the real Leviathan’s tracks...

But what if Jason ISN’T being being set up, but the plan looks like something he’d do because Levi is Roy and he came up with this plan from discussions with Jason? It looks like something he’d do because he unknowingly contributed to the plan! Why Roy didn’t actually invite Jason into the plan to begin with, I’m not sure. Everything I can come up with is pretty bromancy or admits that this is something Jason wouldn't actually do, which undermines half the narrative.

But whatever, that’s just some stuff I wanted to rant about from this issue. Long story short, the execution of this issue was terrible in every way but at least Jason came out looking like a stone cold badass and was mostly in character, and you can bet I will take this interpretation of him into any fanfic/headcanons I make. Like I can legitimately point out to other characters now that Jason single-handedly made fools of five heroes at once, including Batman and Robin and walked away with Manhunter’s weapon. And Damian calling Jason “ONE OF THE GREAT MASTER FIGHTERS OF ALL TIME” is something that I will cling to until my soul leaves my body. Jason has officially been called one of the best fighters of all time, and I will point to this any time someone tries to argue different.

[violetsmoak]

Pieces of April [13/?]

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21099044/chapters/50202530

Summary: On the anniversary of his death, Jason’s second life takes an abrupt new turn and he’s faced with a challenge that neither Batman nor the All-Caste prepared him for.

Rating: PG-13 (rating may change later)

Warning(s): Past Jason/Isabel, kidfic, minor canon character death (pretty sure you can guess who), I’ll add more warnings/tags as I think of them.

Canon-Compliance: Takes place in between the two RHATO series, so after Roy and Kori and before Artemis and Bizarro. Jason and Isabel Ardila were in a brief relationship.

First Chapter

________________________________________________________________

“Have you seen this?!” Damian explodes, stalking into Tim’s office with all the fury of a pit-bull wearing a thousand-dollar suit. His somewhat bruised face is red with fury as he slams of a piece of paper down on Tim’s desk.

“Did we have an appointment?” Tim asks lightly. “Because otherwise, I need to call an exorcist about a demon problem.”

“Stow your inappropriate humor, Drake, I just received a memo from our lawyers—”

“You received a memo? You don’t even work here officially. You were probably just sitting in B’s office pretending to do your homework and then snooped in his inbox when his back was turned.”

“A technicality that holds no bearing on this,” the boy sniffs, waving the paper again. “The patent office is denying Wayne Enterprises claim for the personal water filtration device we filed for on Tuesday.”

“What?” Tim demands, snatching the paper and glaring down at it; that was one of the projects he’s been overseeing the past few months. “On what grounds?”

“LexCorp apparently filed for a similar product 24 hours before we did.”

“Bullshit,” Tim snaps. “As of last month, they weren’t even out of the developmental stage on that.”

He knows because he’d been to the factory chasing down a lead on a completely unrelated case as Red Robin and happened to catch sight of their prototype. It was nowhere near the quality that Luke Fox already perfected in the Wayne tech division.

“Apparently someone’s been helping them out.”

“Any idea who?”

“I can ferret out the traitor soon enough, and make them see the error of their ways,” Damian says, smiling unpleasantly.

Which could mean anything from destroying their legal existence, or a personal beat-down by Robin depending on his mood.

“No,” he says. “We’ll figure out who did it, and why. Then we take it to Lucius.”

“I would imagine the motive for the deceit is rather self-evident.”

“It isn’t always. Motive colors everything. For all we know, it could be a blackmail situation. I wouldn’t put anything past LexCorp, or their R&D team.”

“And the issue of the patent itself?” Damian demands, folding his arms. “This company has invested significant capital in developing the product; if LexCorp retains the patent, our profit margins this quarter will tank.”

Tim smiles coolly. “They’ve invested a lot more than we did. Especially if they’re paying off a corporate spy. I’ll talk to Luke and his dad, but I think if we circulate the story we’re placing the design schematics online to ensure anyone in need can construct their own unofficial versions of it—for humanitarian and innovative reasons of course—LexCorp will take the worse hit and with the good press WE gets, we can recoup.”

“You don’t actually intend to follow through with that, do you?” Damian asks, nose wrinkled in distaste. “That reeks of compromise.”

“Of course we’ll follow through. With the prototype designs, not the final versions. Profit was never the main goal of that project anyhow, so we can afford a delay on returns. With the sudden influx of bootlegged versions of the technology, owning the patent will no longer be the challenge, it will be providing the most efficient and functional model. Which ours is, given the time we spent developing it.”

“So even if LexCorp releases their version, it will continue to underperform next to ours,” Damian realizes. He thinks about it for a moment and then nods. “That’s a semi-acceptable solution. Not enough justification for you to still be here, though.”

A brief, shining moment of an almost-compliment…and we’re back to that again.

“You know, if you’re so concerned that the team in San Francisco is bereft of management, you could always fly down yourself.”

“This is my city. I won’t leave it.” Which is the same argument he used last night; odd, considering Damian likes to be varied in his attacks on Tim. “Besides, we have all seen the results of the alternative.”

Meaning their short-lived team-up where everyone compared them to each other and Damian split.

Tim raises an eyebrow at that.

It almost sounds like he’s…upset about that. Funny, he’s never indicated he minded leaving the Titans when I came back. And half the time he’s off doing whatever it is he does with John.

“Well, maybe if you hadn’t been such a jerk to them, they wouldn’t have been so eager to see the back of you,” he points out, even as he immediately knows it’s the wrong thing to say. Damian’s expression, on the cusp of showing vulnerability, shuts down completely.

“I have learned it is futile to argue with stupidity, and that includes a preference for subpar leadership. Which you should be getting back to and cease wasting company time on whatever it is you don’t actually contribute here.”

Tim rolls his eyes, counts to ten in his head, and replies, “I have a case here, you know. I’m not leaving until that’s done. And maybe if you stopped being such an ass about it and just came out and asked, I’d be happy to call the team and suggest giving you another chance.”

“I don’t require your pity!”

“That’s not what—” Tim groans and pinches the bridge of his nose; why does every conversation with Damian that doesn’t include weapons, always go pear-shaped? “Are you and B fighting again? Is that what this is?”

“Of course not!”

Twin spots of red indicate that’s exactly what it is, and Tim groans internally.

Exactly when did I take over from Dick as chief soother of family problems?

Probably shortly after Dick “died” and went undercover with Spyral. Which he thinks is patently unfair, considering Cass is technically second-oldest, and Jason gives off more of that brother-vibe despite his abrasiveness.

Not that that’s particularly helpful now; he’s got his own problems to deal with.

And of anyone in the family, Tim’s the only one Damian interacts with almost as much as Dick, so maybe it’s not surprising.

Before he can ruminate any more on that, his phone buzzes; it’s from an unknown number, but Tim can guess who it’s coming from based on the first words in the text message.

- Hospital called. Tests positive…

There’s more to it, but Damian’s trying to read it upside down, so Tim snatches it up and reaches for his briefcase.

Apparently, the hospital put a rush on the paternity test results after all. Jason is probably freaking out right now.

 “We can continue this whole you-asking-for-help-but-not-really-thing tomorrow.”

“I’m not—that isn’t—you presume—” the kid splutters as Tim closes his laptop, before recovering and demanding, “Where are you going?”

“Picking up Ives at St. Camillus,” he lies with ease and mentally apologizes to his absent friend for using him as a cover. “He’s had a hard go of it, so we’re doing pizza and a Mission Impossible marathon.” He pretends to pause. “You’re welcome to come, but I’m telling you now we’re not ordering vegetarian or vegan pizza for you. It’s going to be a no vegetable zone.”

In the past few years he’s discovered the fastest way to get Damian to leave him alone is to welcome him to spend time with him. The kid is so set in his ways of insisting he loathes Tim that he’ll go out of his way to refuse such an invitation on principle, even in cases where Tim suspects he wouldn’t mind sticking around.

Tim thinks he has another year or two of that strategy working before Damian finally figures it out. Which could potentially be fun—he wonders what it would be like to have a younger brother that isn’t constantly trying to cut the knees out from under him—but for now, he really wants to avoid it.

Luckily, in this Damian remains predictable.

“I’d rather not stunt my growth like you,” the boy sneers.

Tim pretends that dig doesn’t irritate him, the way it has been since he noticed Damian catching up to him in height. The kid is smug about it and likes to rub it in. Tim, however, has learned the best way to circumvent that is to make a joke of it.

“I thought everyone assumed it was the energy drinks,” he grins.

“I’ll be sure to keep an eye out on your territory since you’ve decided to engage in an evening of sloth instead of important work,” Damian grumbles and stalks out of his office.

“So that’s a ‘no’ to pizza night?” Tim calls after him, fully aware of the answer.

“You’re a disgrace, Drake.”

“Make good choices!”

He allows himself a moment to bask in the satisfaction of ticking off the younger boy, before growing solemn again. He unlocks his phone to scan the whole message.

- Hospital called. Tests positive. Pickup tonight. Legal stuff figured out?

Tim shakes his head; Jason might as well be organizing a stakeout for all the details he’s given. It’s a typical Bruce-ism they’ve all adopted for when they are too overwhelmed to deal with something. He wonders if Jason’s even aware he’s doing it.

He quickly types out a reply—I’ll pick you up and we’ll go together. I have papers you need—and heads for the company garage.

He remembers the process from when Steph had her baby and signed the adoption papers, and so has ensured the documents the hospital will require are on-hand. Social security and medical history forms, birth certificates, driver’s license—a surface survey of identification to prove that Jason Ardila exists.

All Jason needs to do is memorize them on the drive over in case anyone decides to ask questions. Which they won’t, since the fact of Jason being the baby’s biological parent cuts down on a lot of paperwork for them, and Tim knows from personal experience that when it’s possible to avoid paperwork, most organizations do.

Inching back home through Gotham’s usual rush hour madness, Tim wonders if Jason will still be there when he gets to the apartment or if this is the point where he gives up and makes a run for it.

Halfway to the Nest, he gets another text from Jason, this one informing him he’s not at Tim’s place. A follow-up message lists an address Tim thinks he might have read recently, and it’s only when he gets home that he recognizes it from the file he read on Isabel.

Guess he decided to go out today after all.

He quickly changes from his business suit to something casual and unassuming, not wanting to draw attention if he goes into the hospital with Jason, and then hunts up the car seat from the piles of baby things Tam bought. Once that’s carefully installed into one of his less flashy cars, he heads out to the location Jason gave him.

He pulls up in front of a well-maintained condominium, and texts Jason about his arrival; though he knows he’s there, he’s still somewhat surprised when the older man materializes from behind the building, his face ashen and entire body pulled tight and tense.

As Jason gets into the car, Tim knows better than to ask him what’s wrong or if he’s alright.

Instead, he asks, “Have you eaten?”

Jason blinks at him like he’s speaking a foreign language, and then processes. “Not yet.”

Tim’s eyebrows go up at that because usually, it’s him that has to be reminded of eating; Jason’s one of those people that has to eat every three hours, or they become ornery.

He spares a moment to wonder where he picked up that bit of knowledge, and then suggests, “We can stop for food first if you want.” There’s a place on the Upper Eastside where Red Hood has been known to frequent. “We can take as long as you want.” 

“If I eat anything right now, I’m going to throw up,” Jason informs him. “I want to just get this over with.”

“Right.” He can understand that. “Okay, on that note—” Tim strains behind the seat, finagling the folder he stuck there with only the slightest pulled muscle, “—here.”

He hands Jason the folder of documents.

“These are all the official stuff they might ask you for, though I doubt we’ll need all of them today,” he explains. “I also included a list of social media sites you’re now registered on and tweaked your membership dates to exist retroactively, though that’s more for you and not the hospital.”

Jason makes a face. “You gave me a Facebook account.”

“Having one is almost more proof of your existence than having a passport these days,” Tim replies. “Which you still need to get, but we can hold off on that for a little longer. Everything here is just to throw off anyone from social services or the government if they decide to investigate you while we’re coming up with the long-term plan. And if we need an ironclad background, we can bring Oracle in on this.”

Jason’s expression becomes darker.

“Obviously I know you want that to be a last resort,” Tim says quickly. “But just keep in mind it’s an option. And O’s pretty good at keeping secrets from the rest of the family too, you know.”

The older man flips through the documents again and shakes his head. “This is pretty comprehensive considering the kid’s not hanging around here for long.”

“Trust me, if you want to get her out of the hospital, it’s going to have to be that comprehensive.”

It looks like Jason has a comment for that, probably about how he doesn’t want to take her from the hospital, but he visibly buries it and focusses on getting familiar with his new background.

The rest of the drive is silent and tense, and not for the first time Tim questions the wisdom in getting involved at all. Out of everyone in the family to help Jason through a tough emotional spot, Tim always considers himself the last resort; even Damian has more in common with Jason. On the other hand, with this particular scenario, maybe there is no right person to help.

Luck of the draw, I guess…

The tension in the car ratchets up tenfold as they pull into the hospital parking lot. Tim makes a judgment call to not simply drop Jason off on his own this time and even offers to carry the baby-carrier with him into the building, though Jason declines.

Probably needs something to do with his hands.

Tim feels a modicum of relief at that; the contraption is bulky and seems too big for the baby he held in his arms yesterday. Knowing him, he’d probably drop it and send Jason into a panic attack…

They head to the neonatal section in silence, and when they get there Tim’s the one who speaks to the receptionist. She hands him a clipboard with a bunch of release forms and waivers, then assures him the doctor will be with them shortly, before pointing them toward the waiting area.

Once seated, Tim divides up the forms and offers Jason a spare pen from his jacket pocket.

“This stuff’s all insurance and stuff,” he tells him. “I can fill them out for you.”

“I said I was going to handle it.”

“Did I say I was putting my information down on it?”

Jason scowls. “I hope you know how creepy it is you know so much about me.”

“Creepy, but useful,” Tim retorts and shoves a different form at Jason. “This is all family and medical stuff. That’s on you.”

“How generous,” Jason deadpans, though he takes the paper and reads through it.

Despite having the majority of the forms, Tim finishes long before Jason does. When he glances over to see what’s keeping him, he realizes that while everything else is filled out, he seems stuck on the name part of the questionnaire.

“You almost done?” he prompts, instead of asking if he’s alright.

Jason visibly shakes himself, jots something down on the paper, and practically shoves it back into Tim’s hands. “Yeah. All good.”

Tim glances at the form, noting that in a fit of inspiration, Jason has added Isabel as the child’s middle name.

As if expecting Tim to comment, he mutters, “Wherever she ends up, she should at least have a part of her mom.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

He takes the documents back to the receptionist to be copied and filed, before returning to sit with Jason.

“It’s a nice name,” he offers after a while. “Luisa Isabel.” He considers. “We can call her Isa. It works for both.”

“Shit. Jason blinks. “I didn’t think about that. Maybe it’s not too late to change it.”

“I wasn’t making fun, you know. It’s a decent nickname.”

Jason shoots him a sharp look. “What did I say about getting attached?”

“Why do you even care? Whoever ends up taking her might change it anyway.”

That comment makes Jason frown, as if he didn’t consider it, but if he has anything to reply, it’s cut off when a nurse appears and calls out Jason’s name.

“Right this way,” she beams at them, leading them to the hallway outside of an observation room; she promises to return in a moment.

Jason and Tim look inside, where there are rows of infants in clear cradles. The nurse stops in front of one of them—labeled Baby Ardila—and picks up the pink swaddled infant.

“Mr. Ardila,” a familiar voice interrupts, and they glance up as Dr. Kerry makes an appearance. He hesitates upon meeting Tim’s gaze, clearly wanting to keep to the privacy he requested yesterday. “Mr…”

“Draper,” Tim supplies smoothly, glad for the attempt.

“Right.” The man shakes his head and returns his attention to Jason. “As you’re aware, we did receive the tests back confirming the paternity. All that’s left is to release her into your custody, though I do have a few last-minute matters to discuss.”

“Sure,” Jason says tightly.

 “Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong. She’s in excellent health,” the doctor assures them, as Jason fiddles with the baby carrier. He seems to be unsure if he should carry it by the handle or in his massive arms.

It would be kind of funny if he wasn’t so terrified.

“Her Apgar scores are perfect, she’s already had her Vitamin K injection and shots against Hepatitis B—all of which was arranged and signed off on before the birth,” he adds quickly, wary like he’s expecting them to rage at him for vaccinating the child.

“Good,” Jason says, probably because it’s one less thing to worry about.

Kerry appears relieved, and continues, “She’ll have a series of injections and boosters she’ll be needing, but her pediatrician will give you all of that information when you bring her for her check-up a week from now—" Kerry cuts himself off as if remembering the situation. “I can give you several referrals if you haven’t selected one yet.”

“Thank you, but that’s unnecessary,” Tim says. “We have a family physician.”

Kerry glances at Jason, as if unsure if he should be deferring that decision to Tim considering the kid’s paternity, but Jason nods. “I think that’s probably the only thing we for-sure have covered.”

Not entirely sure Leslie’s area is babies, but she’s still the only doctor worth trusting in this city. Jason knows it too.

“Very well,” the man says with a hint of doubt in his voice. He appears to debate with himself about something for a moment and then squares his shoulders. “We do have a social worker on-site if you change your mind about adoption.”

“No,” Jason says.

Kerry sighs. “Mr. Ardila, if you’ll pardon my input—you’re young. And given the circumstances, this is quite a shock. It’s admirable you want to do the right thing and step up to your responsibilities, but it would be remiss of me not to remind you to do what’s best for the child and yourself as well. If at any time you think you can’t do this, you have options. It’s better to figure out what you want to do now while she’s so young than once she’s had time to bond with you.”

Jason looks torn by either prospect, so Tim cuts in with a polite, “Thank you, doctor. We’re aware of our options. As you said, this has been quite a shock, and we have a lot do discuss. However, we would rather the baby not be left indefinitely in the hospital while we do that. I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course.” Kerry clears his throat, uncomfortable. “The attending nurse has a few papers to give you, commonly asked questions and the like. Just an overview of care for the next week or so, but if there’s any concern—anything at all—I’ve included my emergency phone number and email.”

“Thank you.”

He hesitates a further second, before excusing himself. There’s hardly any time to process that, before the nurse has returned, Luisa in her arms.

“Here she is,” she murmurs softly, almost a coo as she presents the baby to them.

When Jason hesitates a half-second too long, Tim immediately reaches out to pick up the swaddled infant. He may have done a little bit of research and YouTubing earlier to ensure a little more confidence when holding her.

Today, Luisa’s eyes are actually open—barely—though unfocussed. She has no reaction for Tim other than a slight scrunching of her nose and futile wriggle against the blankets keeping her wrapped like a baby burrito. Her skin’s blotchy and a bit greasy looking, and she still resembles a potato, though maybe a bit less wrinkled today.

Jason puts the carrier down, and while he appears intent on whatever the nurse is telling him—either congratulations or the infant care Kerry promised—Tim busies himself with figuring out how to put the infant in the carrier.

Does she really need that many straps and buckles to keep her in? It’s not like she’ll even have the coordination to escape for another two years…

Eventually, he manages it, however, and picks up the carrier by the handle; he sees now why Jason felt so awkward with it before, it doesn’t exactly feel convenient.

“…and that’s it,” the nurse is saying, while Jason nods.

I highly doubt that’s it.

He doesn’t say that out loud, though, if only for Jason’s sake; instead, he smiles and says, “Thanks for everything.”

“You take care now,” she admonishes. “The first week is hard on new parents.”

“No kidding,” Jason replies with a laugh that anyone else might call nervous, but which Tim recognizes as bordering hysteria.

Time to leave. “I’ve got no doubt we’ll manage. We’ve been in tougher situations.”

That seems to penetrate some of the panic the other man is working himself into. He blinks as if suddenly remembering who he is and how much they’ve survived.

“Yeah,” he agrees, a little shaky but surer. “We have.” He takes a deep breath, offers an actual attempt at a charming smile at the nurse, before turning to Tim. “We should get going.”

“We should.”

He still makes no move to take the carrier, but Tim doesn’t comment on it; he’s sure in the next days and weeks Jason will be easier around the baby. But right now, he’s not able to do it, and that’s the whole point to Tim being there.

They turn to leave, baby safely in her carrier between them; when the nurse calls out a parting, “Congratulations!”, Tim pretends he doesn’t notice Jason flinch.

⁂⁂⁂

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Next Chapter

[fyeahwonderbat]

In the Middle of a Broken Constellation - PT. 13

Pairing: WonderBat (Wonder Woman x Batman) Rating: T / 14A Universe: N/A - Reader’s Choice Previous Chapter: <- Chapter 12

Diana didn’t mean to slam her apartment door when she returned home that evening, but she was just too irritated to care about the strength she used to close it.

“Whoa!” came a startled yelp from the kitchen. She shot her blue-eyed glare across the hall, only to find a nervous Jason preparing dinner at the stove, a sizzling pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.

And an adorable apron with frills making him look the part of the perfect homemaker.

It was shocking enough to smooth out her temper just enough to smile. “Sorry,” she mumbled. After a deep breath and the removal of her emergency black flats, Diana entered the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “I didn’t know you’d be home.”

“Where else would I be? I haven’t heard about any leads from you or the League, it’s not dark enough for criminals to be roaming the streets yet, and I was getting hungry.” Jason explained, covering all of his bases to justify his time at home.

Except for one, which Diana decided to bring up for him. “Nightwing wouldn’t let you join him and Huntress?”

Surprisingly, an honest scoff was his answer. “Nope.”

She did her best not to giggle as she reached into the fridge for her water filter and bring it with her over to the cupboard. While taking a glass off of the shelf, she listened to the sound of the meal being prepared and felt her stomach grumble. When she caught the scent of it, a second grumble shook her body. “So what are we having?” asked a famished Diana.

Proudly, Jason announced. “I’m making my world renowned burgers.”

“How is it ‘world famous’?” Diana inquired as she took her first sip of water all day.

“Because I’ve had to cook for myself many times while traveling from place to place, so I’ve made this particular recipe while I was all over the world.” Was his half-witted explanation. It immediately occurred to her that she could – and rightfully should – correct his understanding what ‘world renowned’ meant, but it didn’t seem like it would be worth the effort after the day she had had. Not only that, but the food did smell particularly delicious and she didn’t want to risk having her portion revoked.

Conceding to his logic, Diana put her cup down on the counter and headed towards her bedroom. “Did any of my belongings arrive today?”

“No, sorry.” He yelled down the hall after her, his sympathy genuine. Sighing to herself, Diana entered her bedroom and looked at the barren space. The hardwood beams that caught the light of the street gleamed with a rather pale glow, making the entire space feel all the more hollow. There was no bed for her to sleep on until it was delivered next week, and there were no dressers or night stands for her belongings until next weekend; she felt like she was on a sting operation rather than integrating into Gotham City, when her new home looked as barren as it did. Despite knowing that all of her possessions would be set up for her in a matter of days, she couldn’t feel settled in until she could see herself all over her new bedroom.

It wasn’t the first time she had to sleep on a cold floor though, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

She decided to move beyond her self-pity and open up her carry-on bags that she had placed in her closet. Whenever she traveled to the States, she always packed extra outfits in case she ever lost her suitcase during the trip, so she was absolutely prepared to dress down into her pajamas. She changed into her satin set of a button up shirt and shorts within a few minutes and exited her room with a new determined attitude.

The scent of beef seemed farther away than it had before, and Diana realized that Jason had brought their meals into the living room. Her slipper-wearing feet carried her down the hallway until she spotted a rather surprising set up for their dinner. “Oh, you found us a table?” Her question merely stated the obvious, but she was actually impressed. It was simply a foldable surface that he had placed near their window, but the matching pair of chairs meant that they actually had somewhere formal to sit and eat until everything else she owned arrived.

Jason was laying down their plates while answering her, rather focused on the table setting looking just right as he refused to look her way until he was finished with it. “It’s not much, but yeah. I didn’t think we’d want to eat on the floor when we have our own place. It’s kind of cramped, but it’s a table.”

Diana couldn’t argue with him there. “It’s a great table,” she praised him earnestly while walking the expanse of the long living room. She reached her seat and made sure she looked him in the eyes as she added, “Thank you.”

Jason nodded in acknowledgement of her words before sitting down and digging in.

For a moment, it seemed rather calm in her apartment. Her roommate had made her dinner so she didn’t need to cook as soon as she got home, the sun hadn’t set yet on the summery day in Gotham City, and there wasn’t a single police car or ambulance siren wailing off in the distance.

“Oh,” a thought struck her just before she picked up her burger. “Did you see me on the news?”

Jason quirked a brow while his mouth was completely stuffed. “No? We don’t have cable, and I was finding us this table.” Somehow, she understood what he was saying through the massive bites of food he was shoveling down.

Maybe it was because she was able to understand animals…

She decided to take a bite of her own dinner, chew it properly and swallow before she filled him in on everything he had missed today. “I was locked in the isolation ward at the hospital with the people who had been turned into sludge monsters.”

“You WHAT!?” Jason exclaimed, firing bits of food at her unintentionally.

Diana ripped her napkin off of the table and dabbed at her face, brows furrowed ever so slightly. “I went there today on behalf of the Wayne Foundation, and somehow, I was locked in there with about fifty people who had been transformed by the sludge. I couldn’t fight them or escape without giving away that I’m Wonder Woman, so I had to just survive until Superman showed up and rescued me.”

For a moment or two, Jason couldn’t speak. The story she had told him was running through his mind and his mental process of digesting her words showed on his face plainly. So startled was he, he put his world famous burger down and invested himself entirely in her recap of her day. “How the hell do you get locked in an isolation ward at a hospital?”

“That’s what I’d like to know, and it’s just another thing added to our list of mysteries to solve.” Grumbled Diana as she spoke her realization aloud. It felt to her as though their mission to save Bruce was becoming more and more complicated without leading to any answers, and her patience was wearing thin, especially after her ordeal at Gotham General on her first day on the job.

“Is that why you were so angry when you came home?” Jason questioned her gently. Taking a rather hefty bite of her dinner, Diana simply nodded as she chewed.

“Well, we knew this wasn’t going to be easy when we started out,” he tried to pacify her with reason. “We were all coming into this thing with Bruce a month late. Yeah, it sucks that we keep unearthing more problems than solutions. But I think we’ve all realized by now that rushing into things isn’t going to work. The sludge is contained, Bruce is functioning normally – or what it appears to be his new version of normal – and we pretty much have a superhero army on the case.”

Diana was ready to fire off a retort the moment he started listing their different tasks. “We know that the sludge isn’t contained because Aquaman and the Flash were last seen fighting off a new version of it, and we haven’t heard from them since. Should we send someone to check on them? Should we try to contact Atlantis? I don’t know!”

“Diana…”

His attempt to counter her logic only urged her onwards. “Bruce isn’t normal because we know he has some kind of cognitive impairment, but we don’t know what it is! I am spending the day with him tomorrow, and I can try to scan him again, and hopefully Cyborg can determine what’s wrong with him. Meanwhile, we have roughly fifty people in Gotham General who are infected with this sludge that has no cure, along with the people in Metropolis and the people in Central City. Superman is dividing his time between Metropolis and Gotham to help us find out as much information as we can, but Central City is still unprotected while the Flash is missing.

“We think Oracle has been consumed by the sludge, we think Vicki Vale might have been too, and all of those innocent people are left suffering in those mindless, violent sludge monster bodies until we can try to find a cure. But we don’t have any ethical procedures put in place because we don’t know anything about this substances. I can’t ask Cyborg to touch it though or we could lose him too! This entire situation is absolutely maddening! And I’m sitting here, in an empty apartment, trying to move my life from Paris to Gotham, when I should have just taken an extended leave from work and… and…”

She couldn’t think of what her alternative would have led her to do, and it resulted in a rather heavy silence in the middle of their conversation. The absurdity of her day finally caught up with her and she couldn’t stop herself from venting to the nearest crime-fighting human being. The longer she spoke, the more embarrassed she felt about her outburst, creating a rather petulant rant she hadn’t expected. It was true that she felt overwhelmed by all that was going on, lost in terms of what options she had, disappointed that no results had been yielded after putting forth a plan that involved the Justice League.

For the first time in a very long time, she felt anxious when she realized that she had absolutely no control over anything going on in her life.

That feeling of disappointment in herself doubled in size when Jason got up from the table suddenly. “Jason,” she called to him, ready to apologize. However, all he intended to do was retrieve his home that was plugged into a charger in the wall, then he returned to his seat while unlocking his device. Then, a question spilled out of her against her will. “You have a phone?” He didn’t look up at her as he kept his fingers busy. “It doesn’t have service. I found it in the garbage once while I was in Canada and it was in perfect condition. I just hobo off of other people’s Wi-Fi to watch videos online or type up encrypted notes for myself when I’m working on something.”

“Oh.” Was all she could think of to say.

He glanced at her over the top of his device, then showed her a pale white screen, with only the words ‘Moving In: Checklist’ written across the top. When she didn’t react, he clarified his intention slowly, “That’s what we’ll call this mission.”

Still uncertain about the meaning of his actions, Diana simply replied with a similarly paced, “Okay.”

An unimpressed look crossed his face, but Jason recovered and began typing away, moving on without her. “So we have you, me, Cyborg, Superman, Aquaman and the Flash on the case, right?”

Diana nodded. “We also have Nightwing and Huntress, and possibly some more allies from my side.”

That last comment of hers caused him to lift his head up. “Your side?” He paraphrased her, one brow arched high on his forehead.

“I sent for help from the Amazons, and asked Donna and Cassandra if they’d help, should we need them. Even though I haven’t heard back from anyone, I wouldn’t count them out entirely.”

“Well, I’m only going to include who we have with us now,” Jason stated, rather efficient about his note-making. “If we break this list down person by person, what is everyone doing? Which mission are they apart of?”

Diana sat up straight and counted each person on her fingers as she tried to figure everything out. “I’m working at the Wayne Foundation to guard Bruce from any other possible attacks, and to make sure his condition doesn’t worsen.”

“And to see if you can scan him so we can figure out what the hell happened to him.” Jason tacked on.

Diana let him add that to her to-do list, but didn’t wait very long to carry on with her rundown. “Cyborg is trying to analyze the sludge back at Headquarters, though he knows he can’t touch it. Once I scan Bruce, he’ll analyze that information too. He’s essentially filling in for Oracle now that we know she’s been consumed by the sludge.”

Across the table, Jason’s body twitched momentarily. He continued on typing, never looking away from the screen, piping up rather softly to ask, “So you think she’s gone, or you know?”

One second too late, Diana realized that she had been rather crude in relaying that information to Jason. There was no doubt that they were friends, given that they both worked for the Batman at one point or another. Her tone was a tad guarded when she responded to him. “According to Clark, she’s been gone just as long as Bruce has.”

“Well, I’ll add a visit to her place onto my to-do list,” Jason promised, his voice as rigid as his expression. “Speaking of Superman, what’s he up to?”

“He told me he wants to hunt down Vicki Vale, see what leads she had. He thinks she’s disappeared, that someone thought she was getting too close to the mystery of the sludge and took her down before she found anything.”

“Dammit, this could have so many more layers than we realize,” Jason cursed and bit his lip as he typed away furiously on his phone. He was beginning to empathetically understand her frustrations from earlier, making her feel much less ashamed of her whining. “Either this is just one bad dude or there could be a bunch of people in on this. They’re taking out reporters, they’re infecting cities…” “And then creating a single sludge monster to appear off the coast of Maine just to take away the Flash and Aquaman.”

“Do we know they’re missing?” Instantaneously, Jason shot his head up, staring her down from across the table. He was absolutely determined to only deal in facts, as evident in his claim to visit Barbara’s house. She wasn’t any different, however, Diana found it a tad upsetting that he felt the need to question her about what she and Cyborg had already agreed upon.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Diana stood her ground when she addressed his subtle disbelief. “They’re officially MIA. They went to handle the monster and haven’t been heard from since. Their Comms are dead, and we can’t confirm if they are alive or dead.” The blunt way in which she had to speak to him was rather painful, but she handled herself with poise to avoid another bout of volatility.

He didn’t question her when she stood up to him in such a way. Instead, he approached the situation from another angle, “Do we have plans for a rescue mission?”

That question deflated her. “No, we don’t. Given how thin our resources are already, I don’t have anyone else to spare. We need to contact someone from Atlantis if we are going to search for them, since the fight they had with a new version of the sludge monster was over water.”

“Why don’t we do it?” Jason suggested, his tone flippant, like it was the simplest and most effective idea he’d ever had in his life.

Quizzical, Diana frowned at him. “Do what?”

Jason answered with an overtly cheeky grin. “I’m bored, we’ve got no plans for the night. Let’s go search for them.”

“Jason,” she prepared herself mentally for the conversation that was sure to ensue before she rebuffed his idea, “We can’t breathe underwater the way an Atlantean can. We’d have no way to search for them aside from flying Bruce’s plane over the ocean and hoping to spot something. It’s unrealistic.”

That reply did not appear to satisfy his curiosity, nor his supposed boredom. Holding his phone in one hand and following the rhythm of his answer with the other, he bit back, “But we aren’t going to find them if don’t do anything at all. What, you just want to leave them out there?”

“No!” Argued the incredibly offended Amazon, her combative instincts making her rise out of her seat. “It’d be foolish to travel all the way out there with no really plan on how to locate them. Our only plan is to talk to an Atlantean—”

Jason stood as well, invigorated. “Right! So let’s do that.”

“—but he never gave us a way to do that. We can go to Headquarters and check.”

“Then let’s go!” Again, Jason was prepared to leave the apartment and travel to the JLA Headquarters at a moment’s notice.

His eagerness was becoming more of a nuisance, steadily declining in endearment. Diana nearly shouted, “Then what happens if we can’t contact them, and you still want to go out there? What do we do if you and I are taken away as well? What happens to Bruce, to Alfred, to all of the people infected and any future victims if we leave Superman and Cyborg to handle everything on their own? We can’t just run into something like this without a plan.”

Jason’s responses was already on the tip of his tongue by the time she finished her last question, but instead of hearing his reply, someone else spoke in place of him. “Wow, I never would have guessed that I’d find you like this.”

The window had become her knew doorway, Diana thought, as she stared up into the eyes of her latest intruder. It was about time that someone from ‘her side’ arrived to help them defeat this evil that had infiltrated the Justice League’s livelihoods. She just didn’t expect it to be like this…

((Who could it be!? It was super important I organized the mission records for both Diana and you, my beautiful readers. There's a lot going on and the different plot lines need to be spelled out before me dive into the romance- I mean, the friendship of Diana and Bruce. Hope you enjoyed this fun chapter amidst the serious tones of the last one, and hope you return next week to see who our guest is! Also, I have my own original story now available on the Radish ficiton app (pink logo with a white 'R' in the middle). It's a free app where I was invited to write original content, and I have my first series out called "The Aeternum Series: Book One". If you're into Greek mythology or magic or romance that's both sweet and sexy, please check it out! You can also learn more about it by following my social media accounts JenAnneGam. Thanks so much! ~ Maiden))

[renaroo]

This is so completely random, but you're very probably the only Batfam Stan that also loves the Superfam and knows the various members of both families. I was wondering, in your mind, which members of the Superfamily match up with which members of the Batfamily? Like for instance, I've always firmly believed that Linda-Mae matches up with Dick, while Karen goes with Helena. As far as Babs goes, they share her.

If I’m reading you correctly, you’re asking who roughly inhabits the same spots in the Superfam that the Batfam has, yes? It’s really a fascinating question because I think there are lots of comparisons to be made, but it’s also interesting because of the ways they don’t line up perfectly. Like there’s a big difference in their structure just by the fact that Lois is the clear matriarch of the family and almost none of the Superfam have been without a relationship with her. So getting comparisons for some positions does tend to get a little fuzzy. So, I’m just going to go through the family one by one, starting with the most obvious which is Clark and Bruce. 

Clark Kent: Obviously as the central family patriarch and the one who basically inspires everyone else to come into their own while attempting to live up to his impossible image, Clark is the most Bruce-like in comparisons. Which of course, their similarities are as strong as their differences which has been the source of their mutual respect and friendship over the decades and just make them incredibly fascinating characters to play off of each other in almost any circumstance. 

Lois Lane: In recent years Kate has kind of stepped up to be the momma of the Batfam in a sense, and to be Bruce’s equal which would be representative of Lois and Clark’s equal footing in their relationship, but Kate’s got much less of a background for this position and for obvious reasons her relationship with Bruce is nothing like Lois’. In that way I would put Lois much more as a Selina Kyle. They share a street smarts and sassiness, prefer to look out for themselves but can’t help but fall into the same circles as their romantic interests, and in most realities end up married. It’s not a perfect fit, but I would argue it on more than a few grounds. 

Jimmy Olsen: Definitely the Dick Grayson of the Superfam. Not only is he Superman’s pal, but he’s sort of the emotional bond that keeps a lot of the Superfam connected. He’s not only trusted by both Clark and Lois and inspired by both of them, but he’s also a confidante and romantic interest for Kara, was a friend to Linda, and in general is someone who is just by definition associated with Superman. It’s an iconic duo in a lesser sense than Bruce and Dick. 

Martha Kent: Originally I was going to say Pa is the Alfred, but honestly Martha Kent is most definitely the Alfred Pennyworth of the Superfamily. She is a supportive and endearing voice, full of wit, and is the first person Clark goes to when he needs advice or solace. She is beloved by all of the Superfam members and has ben denmother/actual mother to nearly all of them in one sense or another. 

Jonathan Kent: The more I think about it, the more I find that Pa is really a lot like Leslie Thompkins in Clark’s life. He has a bit of a harsher vibe to him and his disappointment is something that Clark is more conscious and fearful of, but it all stems from firm morality and a fear and protectiveness of his son. He is the guiding light for Clark’s humanity and is the sort of man that Clark tries to live up to without ever feeling he can fully achieve it. And all that despite clearly having well defined flaws of his own. 

Lana Lang: Hilariously enough, I would put Lana on the level of a far more important and far more relevant and updated Vicki Vale. Again this seems like a strained comparison (because it is) but she’s a former romantic interest and friend to Clark who loves him but also couldn’t deal as well with realizing that he is Superman or at least that he’s something beyond her comprehension. And there’s still some pining and nonsense there, fortunately Lana is with John Henry now and written much better. Speaking of which...

John Henry Irons: A less murdery and more accepted member of the Superfam than his Batfam equivalent, John Henry Irons is a lot like Helena Bertinelli in that they both were inspired by the “patriarchs” of the family, but did things in their own style and in their own ways. He relies on his background and heritage as much as Helena does and it has influenced him to where he is today. 

Kara Zor-El: An apt comparison for Kara is actually Barbara Gordon. Not only were they good friends in the Bronze Age, but they were similarly motivated. Despite both of them having just as much heartbreak and tragedy in their lives as Batman or Superman, they make the choice to not be defined by that and instead to invent their superhero identities as a way of fulfilling an obligation they feel either to law and order or to the sense of not wanting to lose their adopted new home to the same forces that took their old one. 

Natasha Irons: Is absolutely the Superfam’s Stephanie Brown for better or worse. Nat is selfmade, has a family history of criminal activity but chooses to follow her uncle and Superman’s influences instead to make herself a superhero. Despite all she achieves, for absolutely no reason that makes canonical sense to... anyone who’s read it, basically, John abruptly decides she’s undeserving of her suit and takes it from her? That causes her to make some mistakes and play into a trap by one of the family’s worst enemies and get held hostage and tortured. Fortunately she wasn’t needlessly killed like Steph, but she did come back in spectacular fashion. 

Mae Kent: Mae is a completely different character from Linda Danvers. Mostly. Kind of. So I’m going to treat them as such on this list. Mae is actually Clark’s adopted sister in the preboot and was taken in and cared for by Ma and Pa Kent. She’s fairly independent, making a name for herself outside of Clark even if they continued to have a good relationship. When Clark dies for a year, she is one of the top contenders for taking his place and becoming a surrogate Superman herself. In this way she most reminds me of Kate Kane, self-made while deeply connected to the family patriarch and sharing a family bond. 

Karen Starr: Completely depends on which version you’re going with but if you’re going with the most common, the preboot, I think Karen is the most like Harper Row. She’s a solid member of the family, but she’s also beyond the family, and it’s not in a bad sense. She’s still connected to everyone, and every inventive and set apart almost purely based on her industriousness (making her business empire!) but as much as she does team up with everyone and join frays, she’s mostly off on her own adventures these days and most of her drama comes from civilian life rather than just her time as Power Girl.

Kon-El: This is going to be so freaking controversial but here we are. If I was to pick any analogue in the Batfam for Kon it would not be his best bud Tim, but his fellow leap-before-thinking, bit of a bad boy, fellow leather jacket wearing Jason Todd. They both like coming back from the dead and having inexplicable genre jumps throughout their histories and their main angst comes from a conflict of ideals and perspectives with their parental figures. Kon also is constantly concerned with going over the edge and turning to a villain because of his “bad genes” which reminds me a lot of how Jason felt judged for growing up and being born into a situation outside of his control. 

Linda Danvers: It’s a bit of a cheat since they’re my favorite heroes I grew up with at the time, but when I think of Linda I always think of Cassandra Cain. Linda was not born into an abusive home life, but she was part of an abusive relationship and made mistakes that eventually led to a death. Unlike Cass, however, Linda’s death was her own. That was the turning point in her origins and from that point on she was led to being Supergirl out of not just a weird combining with Mae but through discovering a deeper level of morality and humanity than she had once seen inside of herself. And that became such a strong light in her life, she was even able to inspire the redemption of the very demon that had been responsible for her murder. 

Traci Thirteen: It might be a bit early to call this, but I think Duke Thomas is the most positioned in the Batfam with Traci. Traci initially was a pretty independent character who mostly worked under the “advisement” of Clark and came into her own with her own identity and style. They both have good families they lose to tragic circumstances and slowly find their place within the gaggle of other children in their families. 

Maggie Sawyer: Like I’m not saying it’s a purely lesbian thing, but it’s kind of the lesbian friend detective in the force who goes above and beyond and may or may not be a hero in their own right thing that I compare Maggie Sawyer and Renee Montoya. It’s a thing. And it’s a thing that unites them because they both have banged Kate Kane. Which is the real dream.

Cir-El: My poor sweet daughter is of course far too similar and too unused much like my other dear sweet daughter, Helena Wayne. They are both daughters of the matriarch and patriarch of the family from alternate futures that may or may not ever happen. They hold their father’s values and their mother’s attitudes and they both have awful terrible first costumes. 

Chris Kent: Even though their personalities are starkly different, there is definitely a common thread between Chris and Damian Wayne. They come from troubling childhoods and have difficulties with the concept of unconditional love. Their only aspirations are to live up to expectations and take the mantles of their respective fathers. And for as much trouble as it may cause them they stand up against the villains they fear most in the final hour even under threat of pain or death. They both have a “I choose my real family” moment with a parent that mistreats them, too. 

Jon Kent: This may seem like an odd comparison for now, but I get a Tim Drake vibe from Jon. Hear me out, there’s a lot of superhero worship and naivety about what his new superhero identity is going to bring with it. And while he’s much younger and less detectively minded than Tim, Jon draws on his knowledge of his father’s legacy as well as what he observes from his friends and other superheroes around him to creatively get himself out of jams. Not to mention he loves giving those moralizing speeches. 

Perry White: He’s Jim Gordon. Next.

Krypto the Superdog: THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS. Ace doesn’t go out much into the field anymore so the most apt comparison here is actually Goliath the Bat Dragon. Aaaaand that’s what I’ve got. 

I hope this all made sense I had fun writing it out lol

[scruffyplayssonic]

And the best movies of all the years I’ve been alive are... (updated for 2017!)

Hey folks, I’ve got of a bit of a tradition that I’ve started. It wasn’t a New Year’s tradition previously, but this feels like the best time to be updating

Back in August 2015, I watched a Youtube video by Jeremy of @cinema-sins, where he was answering fan questions. One question that he addressed was, “What is the best movie of every year that you’ve been alive?” While Jeremy thought this was a great question, he didn’t think one video would be long enough to explore it fully, and he wanted to find another way to answer it. This eventually was done through the Cinema Sins podcast, SinCast. Each week, the cast would discuss the movies of a certain year and then vote on which one they thought was the best, starting with 1975 in episode 14, and then working their way through another year each episode right up until episode 54, where they voted on the best movie for 2015. They then took a break for a few weeks to get caught up on some of last year’s movies that they hadn’t seen yet before finally tackling 2016 in this week’s podcast, episode 58.

I did my own picks for my favourite movie of each year back in August 2015, when I first saw Jeremy’s Q and A video. I really liked that question and was inspired to try and name my own favourites from each year. I reuploaded the updated version of this when the SinCast finished going through it last year, and I’ve been waiting for New Year’s Eve to update it again for this year. I hope you enjoy it. Feel free to comment and/or argue about my choices. And thanks again to @cinema-sins, for providing me with laughs every week in the podcasts and videos they release. :)

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1982: E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial This might be a bit of a cheat, since the film came out in June and I wasn’t born until October, but oh well. It’s still the same year.

1983: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi The first Star Wars movie I was around to see the cinematic release of, although I wouldn’t see it in cinemas (or at all, shamefully) for another 14 years.

1984: The Terminator The original was pretty chilling. This still gets me every time. “Listen, and understand! That Terminator is out there! It can’t be bargained with! It can’t be reasoned with! It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead!”

1985: Back to the Future The beginning of what I still believe is the greatest movie trilogy of all time.

1986: Aliens More awesome from James Cameron.

1987: Spaceballs Well, it’s pretty funny. Plus I haven’t seen much else from this year, other than Lethal Weapon.

1988: Die Hard The original and quite possibly the best. More on that later.

1989: Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade This was a tough one to pick, as Michael Keaton’s first Batman film, Licence to Kill, AND Back to the Future: Part II all came out this year. But it really has to be the onscreen chemistry of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery!

1990: Back to the Future: Part III At the time, I probably would have picked DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp. Ahhh, nostalgia.

1991: Terminator 2: Judgement Day I’m sure most of you who know me and know my favourite movies saw this one coming. This was my very favourite movie of all time for almost twenty years, but recently something has surpassed it. Silence of the Lambs would probably get second place for this year.

1992: Batman Returns It was a hard choice between this and Aladdin, which was my favourite Disney cartoon for a very long time. But since it’s not in my dvd collection and Batman is… Honourable mention goes to A Muppet Christmas Carol, my favourite of the Muppet movies.

1993: The Fugitive Another tough choice, considering that Jurassic Park also came out in 1993. But I just love the battle of wits between Harrison Ford and Tommy Lee Jones.

1994: The Lion King Another of Disney’s finest. No contest, although True Lies, Speed, and The Mask were all excellent films too.

1995: Goldeneye (007) This was another tough choice, and Die Hard with a Vengeance came very, VERY close. It’s hard to live up to the awesomeness of that first film, but the partnership with Samuel L. Jackson definitely pays off here. But Goldeneye was the first Bond film I saw in the cinema, and I remember that experience vividly. Pierce Brosnan remains my favourite Bond, even though the next three films he starred in didn’t quite live up to this one.

1996: Scream The Rock and Independence Day were my other main picks from this year, but Wes Craven made an instant classic with Scream, which inspired so many other movies and spoofs. If only they’d stopped after the first Scary Movie…

1997: Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (Special Edition) It’s a bit of a cheat, but technically the original Star Wars trilogy was re-released in cinemas that year with new “special edition” footage, which is when I first fell in love with the series. From original movies that came out in ‘97, it’s a toss up between Men in Black, Air Force One, and The Fifth Element.

1998: Rush Hour Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker were hilarious in this one. The Mask of Zorro was another great movie, and Deep Impact, which was waaaaaay better than Armageddon. Of course, a Michael Bay film will be obsessed with making things go ka-boom. :P Yes, yes, I know The Rock was a Bay film too. So sue me.

1999: The Matrix Another of my very favourite movies. The effects, the plot, the action… it was just sensational. The Sixth Sense was another very clever movie, and Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me was hilarious! But… c'mon, The Matrix, man!

2000: The Whole Nine Yards I was still a big Friends fan at the time, so I loved Matthew Perry starring alongside Bruce Willis. There was also Gone in 60 Seconds, which is one of my favourite Nick Cage films, The Emperor’s New Groove, and of course, X-Men. And then there’s Mission: Impossible 2… hey, be nice. I watched this a lot when I was in Virginia and homesick for Australia :P

2001: Ocean’s Eleven Such a clever film with a great cast!

2002: The Bourne Identity Spider-Man came pretty close, but Matt Damon was amazing as Jason Bourne. …well, that most recent movie was kind of hit or miss…

2003: Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl Who would have ever guessed that a movie based on a Disneyland ride could be so good?

2004: The Incredibles It was a good year for animation - there was this one, Shrek 2, and Team America: World Police. National Treasure came out too, which I quite like.

2005: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire There was also The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (a huge improvement on the previous two movies), Batman Begins, and of course, Serenity; the movie that had Firefly fans screaming, “NOOOOOOOOO!!!” near the climax. :P

2006: V for Vendetta I just LOVE this film. Top performances from Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman and John Hurt. The Da Vinci Code was my second choice. Controversial it may be, and people tend to poo-poo Dan Brown a lot, but I loved this movie too. Tom Hanks was the perfect choice for Robert Langdon, and Ian McKellan was brilliant as always. Casino Royale also came out this year, which brought the 007 franchise back from oblivion.

2007: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix I had to find a cinema playing this in English in Nanjing - no easy feat! But at least they didn’t butcher it like they did with Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (my second pick, after I saw the uncut movie on DVD). Ocean’s Thirteen was pretty good too, if not as good as the original. And of course, The Bourne Ultimatum. I was on the edge of my seat for that one.

2008: The Dark Knight A no-brainer. One of the best films of the decade, let alone the year. Iron Man was a surprise hit too. Little did we know of what was to follow - and in fact, you’ll be seeing a few MCU movies coming up on the list. Taken was great. Oh, and I quite liked Steve Carrell’s take on Get Smart, even if he didn’t quite capture the original magic of Don Adams.

2009: Up One of my very favourite Pixar movies. Angels & Demons was pretty good too, although not as good as the first movie. Plus Tom Hanks cut his hair - I thought his shaggy do in the first movie suited Robert Langdon better. :P Strange that I liked Angels & Demons better of the books but The Da Vinci Code better of the movies. Robert Downey Jr. as Sherlock Holmes was great too.

2010: Kick-Ass This one was a surprise, but I loved the deconstruction of the traditional superhero movie they did here. And when I read the original comic, I loved the film even more for the improvements they made. Nicolas Cage was hilariously hammy, but the major star of this one was undoubtedly Chloe Grace Moretz as the tiny killing machine, Hit-Girl. After that, there was Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1, and Toy Story 3.

2011: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 A fantastic end to a fantastic series. There was also Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which really surprised me. Excellent stuff there. The Adventures of Tintin - an amazing film that tricked me into forgetting it was animated and not live-action several times. Finally, The Muppets, which was such a fantastic return for some of my favourite childhood icons.

2012: The Avengers No surprise there. Honourable mentions go to The Cabin in the Woods, which is a delightfully insane deconstruction of horror movies, Looper, a film I still occasionally stay up late at night scratching my head in confusion over, and Skyfall, which is probably Daniel Craig’s best Bond film so far. I also loved Wreck-It Ralph.

2013: White House Down This one was definitely the film I liked best from 2013What can I say? I love Die Hard, and this was basically Die Hard in the White House, yet it felt original enough to not just be a knock-off. The other ones I liked best would be the Marvels (Iron Man 3, the Wolverine and Thor: The Dark World), Kick-Ass 2, and Gravity, which was absolutely terrifying.

2014: Guardians of the Galaxy Marvel sure knows how to get my bum into the cinema - X-Men: Days of Future Past and Captain America: The Winter Soldier are up there, but Guardians wins out for pure fun (and the delightful company I had in the cinema <3). There was also The LEGO Movie, which I thought was very clever, and Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

2015: The Martian When I first made this list in August 2015, my prediction was that Jurassic World would be my favourite of the year. Nope, not by a long shot. The Martian was absolutely amazing - Matt Damon’s ability to keep the audience on the edge of their seats when he’s completely alone on the screen (and on the planet) is a major credit to him as an actor. In fact, I think this film has now actually surpassed Terminator 2 to become my favourite movie of all time. Then of course we have Avengers: Age of Ultron, Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation, and Terminator: Genisys. …no, really. Stop laughing, I really enjoyed it. :P And then there was Ex Machina, which was a really intriguing film that kept me guessing the entire time.

2016: Captain America: Civil War It’s no secret that I love my comic book movies, and this was definitely my favourite of last year. Civil War (the comic) was the first instance that got me intrigued enough to actually pick up and read a Marvel comic. It really raised an interesting question for me - just how accountable should superheroes be for what they do when fighting crime? Granted, the comic really went too far and made both Cap AND Iron Man look like total dicks, and I was relieved when the film managed to not use some of the more ridiculous ideas, such as a homocidal Robo-Thor-clone or a prison for superheroes in an alternate dimension that literally saps your will to live. On top of that, the film also introduced a fantastic Black Panther, and Tom Holland really nailed what Spider-Man should be. And that airport scene was worth the price of admission all by itself.

2017: Wonder Woman Ohhhhh man, it has been a really good year for superhero movies. We’ve had Tom Holland really prove he is Spider-Man in Homecoming, and the most ridiculous-and-yet-accurate portrayal of Batman ever in the LEGO Batman Movie. Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart’s swansongs in Logan were heartwrenching. Ragnarok and Justice League were a lot of fun (yes, I liked Justice League. Fight me). The Guardians managed to surpass their first movie in Volume 2 with really great character development and humour, and that would probably have been my pick for the year if there wasn’t one other superhero movie I loved even more. But I found Wonder Woman to be truly inspirational. Patty Jenkins,Gal Gadot, Chris Pine and everyone else involved with this movie created something that took my breath away. I cheer every time I see her walk out onto no man’s land, and I scream, “FUCK YEAH!!!” every time that iconic butt-kicking theme music plays. In non-superhero movies... Coco was simply amazing, and is another of Pixar’s very best movies. Star Wars Episode VII: The Last Jedi was fantastic, and I can’t wait to go see it again. And I went into Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle with pretty low expectations, but I really enjoyed it and laughed a lot.

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I challenge any of my friends out there who are avid movie lovers to give this challenge a try - it’s not as easy as you’d think. Wikipedia is your friend though - just browse by “(insert year here) in film.” Comments telling me, “Yes, I love that film!” or, “Are you nuts? How could you forget THIS film?” are quite welcome. :)

[aion-rsa]

How Batman Forever Got Robin Right

https://ift.tt/2UR75Gg

A quarter century after its release, Batman Forever remains perhaps the most divisive of the Caped Crusader’s 10 big-screen appearances to date. It is certainly the fulcrum on which the entire history of the series balances: the point where the franchise changed course in pursuit of instant gratification and success, only to pave the way for abject failure and supreme rebirth.

The back story of Batman Forever has been well documented before, so here it is in brief in case you were napping: following the less than stellar box office returns of Tim Burton’s 1992 Batman Returns — a Gothic fever dream which frightened not just children but Warner Bros. Pictures’ corporate partners like McDonald’s — the studio brain trust decided a change was in order.

Burton would not be back to direct a third Batfilm; that task was bequeathed to Joel Schumacher, who was mandated to bring a lighter, more playful vibe to the proceedings. Schumacher’s stated goal was to make a “living comic book,” but he seemed to conflate the Batman comic books — which had grown in sophistication over the decades — with the Batman 1960s TV series, a deliberate campfest that, while fun in its own way, was the dominant image that entire generations had of the Bat.

“I didn’t want to look at what Tim did and try to be different,” said Schumacher at the time to Daily Variety. “I wanted to do my own thing.”

Schumacher went all in on creating what was essentially a big-screen version of the Adam West series (arguably combined with elements of the comics from the 1940s and 1950s). It was nearly a 180-degree shift from the darker, more subversive trappings of the two Burton films that had come before. Batman Forever was maligned by fans who felt that the Burton movies had finally gotten the character out from underneath the massive shadow of the TV series. But the movie did not pretend to be what it wasn’t, and it did have its positive aspects.

For one — and we’ve argued this before — the screenplay by Lee and Janet Scott Batchler and Akiva Goldsman is easily the best of the four films made between 1989 and 1997. What the Burton films possessed in style and imagery, they lacked in narrative cohesion or story structure. Batman Forever was a different animal: establishing one villain right in the opening sequence, it did away with too many tedious origin stories and left room for a better fleshed out story and arcs for the rest of the characters, cartoon-like as they might have been.

Val Kilmer, replacing Michael Keaton after two films, was a potentially strong Batman, more dynamic and central to the story than the character had been in the Burton films. Brooding less over the death of his parents, he still brought gravitas and presence to the role. While Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey didn’t just chew the scenery but swallowed it whole as Two-Face and the Riddler respectively, both were given motivations and plans that were not too far off from their comic book counterparts.

Yet Batman Forever’s greatest strength — and the source of some of the movie’s best beats — is the way it handles the origin story of Robin, a.k.a. Dick Grayson, played by Chris O’Donnell.

The introduction of Robin into the movie franchise had been hotly debated since the development of the first film. According to Bruce Scivally’s Billion Dollar Batman, early scripts for what eventually became the 1989 movie Batman featured Dick Grayson to varying degrees, with all of them having the young acrobat taken in by Bruce Wayne late in the story, after his trapeze artist parents are murdered by the Joker.

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Batman Forever: The Version We Never Got to See

By Rob Leane

Although DC Comics and Warner Bros. Pictures had initially mandated that Dick/Robin be included in the movie, Tim Burton and screenwriter Warren Skaaren wrote him out while working on the script in 1988. “Ultimately it was too much psychology to throw into one movie,” Burton told Rolling Stone in 1989. “If there’s another movie, Robin would have to be established at the beginning, not to be crammed into the third act.”

That became an issue in the sequel, Batman Returns, as well, where initial drafts of the script reinvented Robin first as a feral child living under the streets of Gotham City and then as a young black mechanic who helps the Dark Knight get out of a jam when the superhero crashes the Batmobile into his garage. The latter version of the character was even cast, with Marlon Wayans getting the nod before the part was again written out of the movie.

“I got my wardrobe fitted and everything, and what happened was that there were too many characters, and they felt Robin wouldn’t be of service,” Wayans told The A.V. Club. “So they put me in the third one, and when the third one came around, they got a new director on it and their vision of the project changed. They decided they wanted somebody white to play Robin.”

There were more problems with the character of Robin than just how to fit him into already crowded movies. With the emphasis in the Burton films on a darker version of Batman, both the filmmakers and the studio couldn’t get past the campy look and tone of Robin established by Burt Ward in the TV show. “We would lift our arms up and say, ‘Let’s have them both go to Frederick’s of Hollywood to pick out that little green costume,’” joked Tim Burton to Starlog about his attempts to give the character a redesign.

Even DC was struggling with how to handle Robin after the success of both the first Batman and Frank Miller’s classic The Dark Knight Returns graphic novel, with the books now on a mission to prove they were as “mature” as Miller’s gritty reinterpretation. With Dick Grayson off on his own as Nightwing, that led to the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd, in the comics, as fans voted by a slim margin to kill him off in a nationwide poll. The third Robin, Tim Drake, got a new costume, dispensing with the bare legs and little green shorts for a look that would foreshadow the movie version.

When it came time to make Batman Forever, it was determined that Robin’s moment to step forward had come. “Dick Grayson’s story is much more interesting than I’d ever seen it portrayed,” Schumacher told the New York Times about the character’s debut in his movie. “Because of the TV series, he was seen as this kind of asexual, cartoony, wholesome airhead.”

The movie retells Robin’s back story almost directly from the comics, with some modifications. Dick himself is somewhat older than he was first presented on the page, probably around 17, and he’s got some attitude as well as a fondness for motorcycles. His family is a troupe of acrobats who are killed during a raid on their circus by Two-Face, with Dick heroically disposing of a bomb while his parents and older brother die below — leaving him an orphan in a mirror scenario of what happened to Bruce Wayne.

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Dick is dropped off at stately Wayne Manor after Bruce says he’ll take the kid in, and the conflict between the two is immediately apparent and neatly set up: Dick understandably wants vengeance on Two-Face, while Bruce recognizes their common link and knows that revenge will only lead to more grief for the sole surviving Grayson. When Dick discovers the existence of the Batcave under the mansion, their already tense relationship is strained to the breaking point.

Dick wants to partner with Bruce/Batman, seeing a role with the Caped Crusader as both a way to track down and kill Two-Face while simultaneously giving himself a new direction in life. Bruce can only see the loneliness and danger of the life he leads, and doesn’t want his young charge to follow him down that same path. He’s even willing to quit being Batman (for a few scenes anyway) to prevent Dick from utilizing the resources of the Bat on his own.

The scenes in which Bruce and Dick face off — with Alfred (the always great Michael Gough, returning from the Burton films) as sly referee — are the finest in Batman Forever and some of the best in all four Burton/Schumacher films. For one thing, they feel like the comics without being overly campy, and they effectively move the relationship between Bruce and Dick forward — the only time, in fact, that any relationship involving Bruce Wayne in any of the four films feels somewhat real and not just tacked on.

Their battle of wills comes to a head after Dick saves Batman’s life during an assault by Two-Face, proving not just his courage but his natural heroic abilities. And yet Bruce refuses to budge, until an even more deadly invasion of Wayne Manor and the destruction of the Batcave forces Bruce’s hand. He must don the cowl again, and this time Dick, with some accoutrements provided by Alfred, is ready to assist — and Bruce is ready to accept his help. The shot of Batman and the newly christened Robin shaking hands and sealing their partnership is one of the few in the original four films that feels kind of legendary.

It’s a satisfying payoff in a series that feature few such moments. It gives Kilmer his best scenes in his sole outing as Batman, and it also presents a Robin that retains the character’s underpinnings while giving him a more updated sensibility (that cringeworthy “holy rusted metal, Batman” line aside). Robin’s obsession with Two-Face is also resolved as he elects to save Harvey Dent’s life instead of killing him. The original Robin costume is nicely redesigned and given its proper homage, even as the Boy Wonder gets a sleek, more contemporary outfit (aside, of course, from the wholly unnecessary nipples).

Make no mistake, Batman Forever is no one’s idea of a great film. It’s an intermittently entertaining movie and a take on the Dark Knight that is clearly more of a flashy corporate product after the experimentation of the flawed Burton entries. But if there’s anything from the film that still works 25 years later, it’s the birth of the Dynamic Duo — the only time (at least for now) that we’ve seen the genesis of that iconic partnership play out on the big screen.

The post How Batman Forever Got Robin Right appeared first on Den of Geek.

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41 of the funniest quotes and one-liners from The Good Place about life and death – iNews

DistractionsJokes

“Pobody’s nerfect!”

Tuesday, 8th October 2019, 16:06 pm

Updated Tuesday, 8th October 2019, 16:07 pm

(Photo: NBC)

The Good Place is one of the most intelligent sitcoms of recent years, and now the long-awaited fourth season has finally made its way to Netflix.

The fantasy-comedy (about a woman who mistakenly winds up in a heavenly afterlife designed for only the most morally sound people on Earth) has consistently delivered imaginative scenarios, witty writing and laugh-out-loud humour since its 2016 debut.

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We thought it would be a forking good time to celebrate some of the show’s best quotes on life and death.

Jason

“The point is, you’re cool, dope, fresh, and smart-brained. I’ve never seen you dance, but I bet you’re good, cause you’re good at everything. You’re awesome! Be nicer to yourself.”

“I can’t believe Michael betrayed us again, why is it always the ones you most expect?”

“When I say I’m meditating, I’m just trying to figure out what the fork is happening.”

“Everyone here thinks I’m Taiwanese. I’m Filipino. That’s racist. Heaven is so racist.”

“You know, it doesn’t matter if you know things. All that matters is what’s in your heart.”

“I’m ranking my favourite Fast and the Furious movies. You said you wanted to know who I am, and this is the best way to get to know me.”

“I wasn’t a failed DJ. I was pre-successful.”

“I’m too young to die and too old to eat off the kids’ menu. What a stupid age I am.”

(Photo: NBC)

Janet

“In case you were wondering, I am, by definition, the best version of myself.”

“It turns out the best Janet was the Janet that was inside Janet all along.”

Tahani

“I would say I outdid myself, but I’m always this good. So I simply did myself.”

“You know, sometimes a flaw can make something even more beautiful. Like with Cindy Crawford and how short she is.”

“I’m going to tell you the same thing that I told Mark Zuckerberg right before he ousted Eduardo Saverin. You are smart, you are capable, and the time has come to hit ‘unfriend’. I also told Mark to lose the ‘the’. Just ‘Facebook.’ That was me.”

“I’m not used to dressing like a plumberess. Is that what you call a female plumber or is a toilet sweep or, or clog wench?”

(Photo: NBC)

“She may be some demonic torturer from the netherworld, but does she have taste? Sophistication? An encyclopedic knowledge of traditional and avant-garde Belgian floral design?”

“We don’t make any sense together, and yet, when I’m with you, I can really let my hair down, metaphorically speaking of course, because I’d never have it up in the first place. I’m not a factory worker.”

“No one can ever truly turn over a new leaf. Sure, Ben Affleck told me he’d matured as an artist after he directed Argo, but then, right on schedule, it was, ‘Guess what, Tahani, I’m gonna be Batman.'”

Chidi

“Principles aren’t principles when you pick and choose when you’re gonna follow them.”

“I argue that we choose to be good because of our bonds with other people and our innate desire to treat them with dignity. Simply put, we are not in this alone.”

“If this isn’t a test, then it’s something way worse: A choice! That we have to make!”

(Photo: NBC)

“You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That’s the sound my brain makes. All the time. It’s just the constant grinding about things that I’m afraid of or things that I want or want to want, or want to want to want.”

Michael

“It’s a rare occurrence, like a double rainbow. Or like someone on the internet saying, ‘You know what? You’ve convinced me I was wrong’.”

“Any place or thing in the universe can be up to 104% perfect. That’s how you got Beyoncé.”

“Lies are always more convincing when they’re closer to the truth.”

“Now we’re going to do the most human thing of all: attempt something futile with a ton of unearned confidence and fail spectacularly!”

“Searching for meaning is philosophical suicide. How does anyone do anything when you understand the fleeting nature of existence?”

(Photo: NBC)

“You humans take something wonderful and ruin it just a little bit so you can have more.”

“I’ve been working on my Western Hemisphere brunch banter. Tell me what you think. ‘That New Yorker article was crazy. You haven’t seen Hamilton? Hey, did you hear about Stephanie?'”

“I studied the human concept of friends. I even watched all ten seasons of the show Friends. Boy, those friends really were ‘friends’, weren’t they? Although – and I realise this is the kind of observation that would only occur to the mind of an eternal being. How did they afford that apartment? A waitress and a chef with those Manhattan real estate prices.”

“Hello, everyone. Good to see you all here, mingling around with your various secrets. Who really knows which of you are who you say you are? No way to know unless I pull your skeletons out, right?”

“In the words of one of my actual friends: ‘Ya basic’. It’s a human insult. It’s devastating. You’re devastated right now.”

(Photo: NBC)

Eleanor

“I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two men my entire life, Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

“You wrote 4,000 pages on one of the most complicated subjects in the world. I mean I used to get bored halfway through writing a text message. Be proud.”

“I might not have been a saint, but it’s not like I killed anybody. I wasn’t an arsonist. I never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.”

“When I told a boyfriend something was ‘no big deal,’ it meant anything from ‘I just bought weed from your nephew,’ to ‘I secretly befriended your ex-girlfriend last year, things got out of hand, and now I’m her bridesmaid.'”

“Kant would say that lying in any scenario is wrong. On the other hand, snitches do get stitches.”

“Ugh, I hate jazz. Every jazz song is like 40 minutes long. It’s like, we get it. You can blow on a trumpet. Wrap it up, Elton John.”

“Why do bad things always happen to mediocre people who are lying about their identities?”

“If you try and ignore your sadness, it just ends up leaking out of you anyway. I’ve been there. And everybody’s been there. So don’t fight it. In the words of a very wise Bed, Bath, and Beyond employee I once knew, ‘Go ahead and cry all you want. But you’re going to have to pay for that toilet plunger.'”

“Whenever I would do something crappy on Earth, there would be a little tiny voice in the back of my head that would say, ‘Eleanor, don’t grab that handful of olives from the salad bar. You know, you didn’t pay for that,’ or ‘Eleanor, don’t spit those olive pits onto the floor of the grocery store. That’s not cool.’ Or ‘Eleanor, that old man just slipped on your olive pit, and he fell down. Don’t use the fact that everyone’s distracted to go back and steal more olives.'”

“Pobody’s nerfect.”

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New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/48-celebrities-no-idea-related/

48 celebrities you had no idea were related

You likely already know about the Olsen twins and their younger sister Elizabeth, as well as Dave and James Franco or Luke and Owen Wilson. And you’ve already learned about all the celebrity pairs that are best friends, but there are quite a few famous faces that you probably didn’t know were all in the same family.

Keep reading to see the 48 celebrities you probably never knew were related.

Amy Daire contributed to a previous version of this article.

New York Senator Chuck Schumer is cousins with comedian and actress Amy Schumer.

Chuck (left) and Amy Schumer (right) in 2015.

Andrew Burton/Getty Images

Senator Schumer is a first cousin to Amy Schumer’s father, making them first cousins once-removed. They don’t make a ton of appearances together, but they do use their joint star power every now and again.

The two Schumers spoke at a joint press conference for gun reform in 2015 after a fatal shooting which happened during a screening of Amy’s movie “Trainwreck.”

Then in 2017, Amy publicly defended Senator Schumer after President Donald Trump called him “Fake Tears Chuck Schumer” in a tweet.

Emily Blunt is Stanley Tucci’s sister-in-law, which means John Krasinski is Tucci’s brother-in-law.

Emily Blunt (left) and Stanley Tucci (right) in 2010.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

Emily Blunt inadvertently played matchmaker when her “Devil Wears Prada” co-star Stanley Tucci met her sister, Felicity, at Emily Blunt and John Krasinski’s wedding in 2010.

Tucci married Felicity Blunt two years later, and the happy couple have two children together (just like Emily Blunt and Krasinski). All four siblings-in-law recently walked the red carpet during the premiere of Krasinski and Emily Blunt’s new hit movie “A Quiet Place.”

Singers Ray J and Brandy are siblings, but they are also cousins to rapper Snoop Dogg.

Siblings Ray J (left) and Brandy (center), and their cousin Snoop Dogg (right).

Jemal Countess/Getty Images and Jag Gundu/Getty Images

Singers and siblings Brandy and Ray J have made their typical brother-sister relationship pretty public. Like most siblings, they post pictures of one another to their social media accounts, walk the red carpets together, and sometimes they even talk or argue over Twitter.

Meanwhile, the pair are also close with their cousin Snoop Dogg. Snoop has collaborated with Brandy and used her in a music video, and he had Ray J as a guest on his YouTube show where he introduced him as “my cousin, my family, my familia.”

Singer Lily and “Game of Thrones” actor Alfie Allen are brother and sister.

Siblings Lily (left) and Alfie Allen (right) in 2007.

Claire Greenway/Getty Images

Talent clearly runs in the family seeing as she’s a famous singer and he’s made waves as Theon Greyjoy on “Game of Thrones.” Like most siblings, they seem to have a love-hate relationship.

The singer once wrote a song about her brother needing to get a job and several years later slammed “Game of Thrones” during a Reddit AMA saying that she was offered a incestuous cameo to play his sister on screen. Alfie then denied that fact.

“The only thing I’m going to say on that is that it’s not true,” he said to Vulture. “And also that Gemma Whalen was always their first choice for the part. And she’s fantastic. And that’s the one thing I’m going to say about that.”

Since then he’s “banned” her from discussing the show at all.

Jason Momoa is the stepfather of Zoë Kravitz.

Jason Momoa (left) and Zoë Kravitz (right) became family members in October.

Neilson Barnard/Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Momoa has been with Kravitz’s mother, Lisa Bonet, for 12 years. The happy couple got married in a quiet ceremony this October, making Momoa the official stepfather of Kravitz. The new family members have shared sweet Instagram photos of themselves together, including one where Kravitz called Momoa “papa bear.”

Momoa and Bonet also have two other children together — Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa and Lola Iolani Momoa.

Speaking of the Kravitz family, TV personality Al Roker and singer Lenny Kravitz are distant cousins.

Al Roker (left) and Lenny Kravitz (right).

Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images and Mike Windle/Getty Images

On an episode of “Today,” Roker and Kravitz discussed that they both have the Roker genes in them. This led Roker to do some investigating, and he later revealed that their grandfathers were actually cousins. They have quite a few people between them a far as the family tree goes, but blood is blood.

“All I know is I’m going with it,” Roker said on the show. “Kids think it’s cool.”

The Coppolas and Schwartzmans are all related to Nicolas Cage.

Francis Ford Coppola (right), Jason Schwartzman (center), and Nicolas Cage (left).

Getty Images

This is one famous family. Francis Ford Coppola, who directed “The Godfather” among other films, is the uncle of the Schwartzmans. Jason Schwartzman earned his fame in movies like “Rushmore” and “Moonrise Kingdom,” but his younger brother is also recognizable. Robert Schwartzman was in “The Princess Diaries,” though he’s given up acting since.

Francis is also the father to Sofia Coppola, who directed “Lost in Translation” and “The Bling Ring.”

All of these people are also related to actor Nicolas Cage, who changed his name from Coppola to avoid any nepotism in the industry. Francis is Nic’s uncle, making the Schwartzmans are his cousins.

Jenny and Melissa McCarthy are cousins.

Cousins Jenny (left) and Melissa McCarthy (right).

Jason Merritt/Getty Images and Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

The famous actresses may share a last name, but many never made the connection. Jenny has even shared a throwback picture of the two of them when they were children.

The actresses might be in the same business, but their careers haven’t overlapped and the two don’t seem to be very close. Melissa, for example, didn’t attend Jenny’s wedding back in 2014. That might have something to do with a report claiming that Jenny thought her cousin needed to lose weight to make it in Hollywood, even though Jenny firmly denies it.

“There is a crazy story going around that I once told my cousin, Melissa, that she would have to lose weight in order to get into show business. Nothing could be further from the truth,” Jenny told PEOPLE.

Joan and John Cusack are siblings.

John (left) and Joan Cusack (right) in 2013.

Timothy Hiatt/Getty Images

John and Joan Cusack have both made names for themselves in the movie industry and have been in 10 movies together. Yet many don’t realize that they’re brother and sister.

Joan gives credit to her brother for encouraging her throughout her career in the hectic industry.

“I think it helps to know another person in the business, because everything is such an illusion, so it’s great to be able to go, ‘Oh, my God! This is how it really is!’ or ‘This is how it happens there!'” she told AV Club. “You know, ’cause nobody knows any of it. People know more now in general, I think. So I think it was helpful to have each other.”

Actors Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are siblings as well.

Warren Beatty (left) and Shirley MacLaine (right) at the 36th AFI Life Achievement Award which honored Beatty.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

These actors don’t share a last name because Shirley uses her middle name MacLaine. The two also don’t share any movie credits and MacLaine recently noted that they likely never will.

“Oh, I don’t think we’d be a good team,” she once told Closer at the TMA Heller Awards.

As for Beatty? He doesn’t think so poorly of the idea.

“Not a bad idea,” he said on “CBS Sunday Morning,” with one exception: “I think we shouldn’t play man and wife.”

“Grey’s Anatomy” actress Jessica Capshaw is director Steven Spielberg’s stepdaughter.

Jessica Capshaw (left) and Steven Spielberg (right) in 2012.

Michael Buckner/Getty Images

The “Grey’s Anatomy” actress didn’t exactly grow up with Steven Spielberg, but since her mother married him in 1991, they’ve gotten close. With such a big name in the industry, you’d think that he was to thank for her start, but according to her, it wasn’t so easy.

“In a lot of ways it was actually not helpful to have famous parents because there is definitely a very human feeling of, ‘Well, when you come from all that, who wants to see that girl succeed.’ You want to see the underdog succeed, the girl who spent her last two dollars on the bus ticket,” she said in an interview with USA Today.

Actors Hallie and Jesse Eisenberg are brother and sister.

Hallie (left) and Jesse Eisenberg (right).

Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images and Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images

Hallie Eisenberg had one of the most recognizable faces in the world in the late ’90s. She was practically the face of Pepsi, not to mention she landed leading roles in movies like “Bicentennial Man” and “The Miracle Worker.”

She’s taken a leave from acting since then, but her older brother is still making the family name known in Hollywood. He’s Oscar-nominated and famous for roles in several movies, including “Batman v Superman” and “The Social Network.”

Jesse recently revealed on “The Tonight Show” that they’re living together. Jimmy Fallon asked him about his sister’s boyfriend Owen Danoff, who was fighting for fame on season 11 of “The Voice,” and Jesse told him that they’re all roommates.

“He is my sister’s boyfriend, but also my roommates, ’cause, I mean, they live with me,” he explained. “We have separate rooms but essentially he’s a roommate.”

Actor Martin Sheen is father to actors Charlie Sheen and Emilio Esteves.

Emilio Esteves (left), Charlie Sheen (center), and Martin Sheen (right) in 1996.

Getty Images

It’s known pretty far and wide that Charlie Sheen is Martin Sheen’s son. After all, they share both a name and a striking resemblance to one another. However, many people might not known that Martin Sheen has another famous son, Emilio Esteves.

The trio of Sheens have had their ups and downs. Many speculate that it’s a battle between brothers, but their dad is proud of them both.

“This morning, as I watched him alone, reveal his deepest, darkest secret, I couldn’t believe the level of courage I was witnessing, and that it was my son,” he said after Charlie revealed that was HIV-positive to Matt Lauer. “I left him a message, and I said that if I had that much courage, I would change the world.”

He also worked side-by-side with Emilio on 2012’s “The Way,” and claims that there’s no one better to work with,

“From my point of view there’s nothing better,” he said in an interview with The Guardian. “I’d work with him for the rest of my life, frankly.”

Swedish actor Stellan Skarsgård is father to Bill and Alexander Skarsgård.

Alexander Skarsgård (left) and his father, Stellan Skarsgård (right).

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Stellan Skarsgård has several credits under his belt. He’s been in “Good Will Hunting” and “Mamma Mia!” as well as Marvel’s “Thor” and “Avengers” films. His son Alexander is stealthy competition though. He hit fame with his steamy role in “True Blood” and has starred in “The Giver” and HBO’s “Big Little Lies.”

Stellan and Alexander went head-to-head on Fourth of July weekend in 2016 when Stellan’s movie “Our Kind of Traitor” opened against Alexander’s “The Legend of Tarzan.” According to Los Angeles Daily News, Stellan was pretty thrilled about the competition.

“I think he’s got more backing and more screens,” he said in the interview. “Still, it’s fun.”

In the end, Alexander got the bragging rights.

Then Alexander’s younger brother, Bill, had a breakout role in 2017’s reboot of “It” where he played Pennywise the Clown. The movie became one of the highest grossing horror films of all time.

Actresses Blake and Robyn Lively are half-sisters.

Blake (left) and Robin Lively (right) at the 2017 People’s Choice Awards.

Christopher Polk/Getty Images

Serena van der Woodsen and the Teen Witch herself are truly sister goals. They’re often seen together at award shows and fashion shows, and Robyn is the godmother to Blake’s kids.

Robyn and Blake even joke about whose kids are whose.

“She has my children and I have her children, [and] we’re like, ‘No, those are my children!’ She’s like, ‘No, your children are my children.’ We always argue about it. She’s the best,” she recently said to ET.

“Fantastic Beasts” actress Katherine Waterston is the daughter of actor Sam Waterston.

Katherine Waterston (left) and her father, Sam Waterston (right).

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

You probably recognize Sam from his roles in hit shows like “Law & Order” and “The Newsroom.” His daughter became an actor, too, but she’s usually seen on the big screen. Most recently she played Tina Goldstein in the “Harry Potter” spin-off “Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them.”

Despite this huge success, her acting career wasn’t as easy as you’d think it would be for the daughter of a famous actor.

“When you are the kid of an actor, it’s always a very inviting world,” Waterston said in an interview with The Sydney Morning Herald. “Everyone is nice to you, the hair and make-up people braid your hair and play with you, and the costume department makes outfits for your teddy bears. It’s really misleading, because then when you actually go to pursue a career in acting, you realize that people aren’t so friendly.”

In fact, she couldn’t even land a role on her dad’s “Law & Order,” a show that “every actor in New York” can get a credit for.

Superstar Tom Cruise and “Lost” actor William Mapother are cousins.

Cousins Tom Cruise (left) and William Mapother (right).

Michael Loccisano/Getty Images and Ken Ishii/Getty Images

Tom Cruise is one of the biggest international movie stars, but he’s not the only actor in the family. His cousin William Mapother has starred in shows like “The Mentalist” and “Lost.” Mapother has also had cameos in three of Cruise’s movies and small roles in two others.

Unfortunately, Mapother doesn’t discuss his cousin very often.

“I’m not answering any questions about him because I’ve learned that unfortunately, nearly anything I write/say about him gets taken out of context,” he wrote in a Reddit AMA two years ago. “So it’s easier and safer to say nothing.”

Actor Antonio Banderas used to be actress Dakota Johnson’s stepfather.

Dakota Johnson (left) with Antonio Banderas (right) and their family as he was honored on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images

The “Fifty Shades of Grey” actress is no newbie in the film industry. She grew up with Antonio Banderas after he married her mother actress Melanie Griffith when she was just a child (her dad is none other than actor Don Johnson).

With a family like that, it’s almost impossible not to get into acting.

Griffith and Banderas were together until 2015, but despite the split, he has nothing but kind words and admiration for his former stepdaughter and her career.

“Dakota didn’t want our help. Every time that she was called for a movie [she said] ‘I don’t want you guys to be there, I don’t want them to know that you are my mother’ or who [is] her real father, her biological father Don [Don Johnson]. She didn’t want help. She has been very honest in that aspect,” he said during a guest appearance on ITV’s “Loose Women.”

Actor Christian Bale also had a famous stepparent — he used to be feminist icon Gloria Steinem’s stepson.

Christian Bale (left) and activist Gloria Steinem (right).

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images and Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images

He’s an actor with a rumored anger problem and she’s a feminist icon and hero. You probably wouldn’t have suspected that their paths had ever crossed, but she’s actually his stepmother.

Steinem married Bale’s father David when Christian was well into his twenties. They were married for three years before David passed away in 2003.

Steinem still thinks of Christian affectionately though.

“He is a very good person, a great lover of animals, and an immensely talented actor. He’s married with two children and lives in California,” she said in a piece for Daily Life. “I don’t see him that often, but we’re in touch from time to time.”

Actress Julia Roberts is actress Emma Roberts’ aunt.

Julia Roberts (left) and Emma Roberts (right) arrive at the premiere of “Valentine’s Day.”

Kevin Winter/Getty Image

These leading ladies have been very public about their familial ties. They speak about each other in interviews, post heartwarming pictures of each other, and according to Julia, spend lots of time together.

“She’s so lovely,” Julia said during an interview with Allure. “We spend a lot of time together. Emma is a remarkable girl.”

Even though they spend so much time together, there’s one thing Julia will never do: take a part in or watch Emma on “American Horror Story.”

“I can’t even get though the commercials,” Julia once said to E! News. “I am the most fitful scaredy cat.”

Actress Bryce Dallas Howard is filmmaker Ron Howard’s daughter.

Bryce Dallas Howard (left) with Ron Howard (right) as he was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images

Ron’s face might not be quite as recognizable as his daughter’s these days, but only because he spends his time behind the camera rather than in front of it. After acting in “The Andy Griffith Show” and “Happy Days,” Ron switched over to directing. His work includes “Apollo 13,” the Oscar-winning “A Beautiful Mind,” and “The Da Vinci Code.”

His daughter stayed in the family business, but took a different route. She’s acted in “The Village” and “Jurassic World.” But despite their different roles in the industry, he’s still an inspiration to her.

“He’s a dad, but also this extremely impressive individual. I really look up to him,” she said during an interview with UK’s Express. “It was a wonderful gift, growing up having a beautiful relationship with my dad.”

Actors Liev and Pablo Schreiber are half-brothers.

Liev (left) and Pablo Schreiber (right) circa 2006.

Brad Barket/Getty Images

Pablo Schreiber is easier to place if you imagine him with a big mustache. He plays Mendez on Netflix’s “Orange is the New Black” and he’s the half-brother of Liev Schreiber, who’s starred in “Defiance” and “X-Men Origins: Wolverine.”

They’ve only acted in one movie together, but they spend time together off-screen. Liev recently tweeted a picture of one of their family outings.

(C)

[captain-daryn]

OP I love these, they are all so cute! And I agree, I think Jason got the best version. Cass's is pretty sweet too tho

Batdad with his first 6 kids! (legal or otherwise)

Sorry for the bad quality it's a random sketch I made in German class loll

Might make one for the other kids/bats (duke, babs, carrie, terry, etc.) once i figure out what their dynamic should be